Sonics Owner Cherishes All That Is Stern

Quick playoff race recap: Dallas definitely in, Utah losing on the road at the buzzer proves they’re competitive away from SLC, Dubs probably out, Nuggets’ fortunes hinge on J.R. Smith.↵
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↵But what’s really good, what has the entire NBA world abuzz, is the fawning, two-faced email Clay Bennett sent Stern in the wake of Aubrey-gate. Yesterday, the

provided us with some damning evidence against the Okie ownership. This time, it’s personal. Come with me, as we laugh at Clay Bennett’s overripe feelings for David Stern:↵↵⇥David you know how I feel about our relationship both personally and professionally. You are among a very few, notwithstanding our relative brief actual physical time together that have significantly affected my life. I view you as a role model as an extraordinarily gifted executive, a deep and compassionate thinker, and a person with a rare and unique charisma that brings out the best in everyone you touch. You are just one of my favorite people on earth and I so cherish our relationship Sonics business aside. I would never breach your trust.↵↵[Sic], [sic], and [double-sic]. Look, this isn’t great stuff because it’s earnest and encourages lazy Brokeback Mountain jokes. If this were written by someone who weren’t a pompous ass, who hadn’t infuriates thousands and thousands of people in Seattle and elsewhere, this email would just be some very sincere man-talk. However, it’s not. It’s Clay Bennett, which makes it some combination of pathetic and demonic.↵
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↵Later in the message, Bennett gets equally sentimental about trying hard, and “aspir[ing] to be a GREAT owner.” For a second, I thought maybe he was human after all. I felt my eyes well up a little. Then I realized that actually, I was puking in the back of my throat, and it was starting to come out of my nose.↵