General

The Villages Sound Like a Sexy Golf Community

May 8, 2008, 2:45 PM UTC

Jon Show is a writer for SportsBusiness Journal, who enjoys golf and being bald. He is in Ponte Vedra, FL for the TPC this week.

â†µâ†µAnyone who watches golf can attest to the nonstop ads touting The Villages, an over-50 retirement community in Florida that, I must admit, looks outstanding. There’s golf, boating, shuffle board, bars, restaurants. I’m only 32, but these are all things that I truly think I could do on a daily basis for the rest of my life. Plus I want to see a Glenn Miller cover band because of the irony. Don’t musicians form cover bands to extend their music careers? Why form a cover band when you’re already 80?â†µ

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â†µâ†µAnyway, I regularly attempt to sell my wife on the fact that moving to The Villages would be an excellent life choice. She laughs, I attempt to defend my point, she laughs and reminds me we’re 20 years under the age limit. End of discussion. As of yesterday, my view has changed.â†µ

â†µâ†µDuring a golf cart ride around TPC Sawgrass, I met a man named Al Hernden, who owns a construction business. Somehow we got to talking about The Villages, he told me he owned a construction company in that area, and I told him I wanted to move there immediately. Since I can’t possibly do this justice, I will allow my man Al to explain why I will never, ever, ever-ever-ever, be moving to The Villages. “No, no, no, no,” he said, “You don’t want to go there. That place has the highest per capita STD rate of any place in Florida!” I asked Al if he was kidding, he said no. I asked again, same answer.â†µ

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â†µWhile the claim has not been verified by The Sporting Blog's rigorous fact-checking team, do we really need to go there? Much like Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens, the accusation is merely enough. I vomited three times while writing this. Proof enough.â†µ

â†µâ†µThere’s a “cougar with rabies” joke in here somewhere, but since the term “cougar” has gone much too mainstream to be funny anymore, I’m not going to make it. When we parted ways, Al joked in a deep drawl, “Haaaay buddy, don’t forget yer penicillin if yer planning on mooovin’ down to Tha Villages.”â†µ

â†µâ†µIn a moment of clarity I asked why I, a happily married man, would care. I’m just going for the golf and boating and shuffle board. He replied, “Whatever buddy.” I couldn’t argue with his point.â†µ

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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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