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The Enumerative: Dramatic Disappointments

Jun 9, 2008, 9:45 PM UTC

Welcome to our incredibly innovativeâ†µnew feature, The Enumerative. Because lists are awesome, plus effectiveâ†µtime killers, in this space we'll provide a top five based loosely onâ†µsomething that occurred in the world of sports yesterday.
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Following Big Brown’s dead last performance at the Belmont over the weekend, our own Dan Shanoff wrote the following overstatement this morning: “Big Brown’s loss at Belmont was the most dramatic sports letdown of 2008.” Because disagreements are vital to maintaining healthy relationships, Spencer and I have come up with five bigger sports disappointments this year.â†µ

â†µâ†µ1. The Yankees. I don't know anything about them, but I hear their name a lot spoken in angry tones. Not only are they lingering around the bottom of the standings (Chris told me so; must be true), but they haven’t even won a World Series yet this year. ~ Spencerâ†µ

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â†µâ†µ2. Tiger Woods. Sure, he won three tournaments early in the year, but he didn’t even win The Masters. In fact, he got crushed by THREE WHOLE STROKES by someone named "Trevor." On top of that, he injured his knee and hasn’t played a tourney since. How are we supposed to see his wife if he isn’t on the golf course? Now that’s a “dramatic letdown” of epic proportions. ~ Chrisâ†µ

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â†µâ†µ3. Tom Brady. He lost the Super Bowl, and hasn't even impregnated a stunningly attractive woman, letting this whole "fidelity" and "taking care of his family" thing get in the way of his mission of creating a new super-race of jean models all by himself. ~ Spencer â†µ

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â†µâ†µ4. [Too Hot For TSB]. We had something really funny here that involved the following video, but we've been censored. Email me if you are able to handle dark comedy, and I'll tell you what it was. Enjoy the crash though:
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â†µâ†µ5. Adam "Pacman" Jones. How dare he fail to make it rain in resounding fashion this offseason? Quietly sliding into a spot in the Cowboys makes it so much harder to find venting outlets for the casual racists of the sporting world. (Pac-man gets arrested: "a societal problem!" A white athlete gets arrested: "Wow, he needs some help, man.") ~ Spencerâ†µ

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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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