Cristiano Ronaldo Knows His Slavery

Following up FIFA president Sepp Blatter’s commentary likening Ronaldo’s having to serve out his contract at Old Trafford with Manchester United to slavery -- one of the dumbest public comments by the head of a major sporting organization -- Ronaldo ... agreed with Blatter? Really? (Wipes eyes, peers at feed reader.)↵↵Yes, I’m afraid we’ve reached the tipping point from “merely loathsome” to “please, please let Marco Materazzi headbutt this man into the ninth dimension.”↵

↵↵⇥“I agree with the statements of the president,” Ronaldo told TVI, the Portuguese television channel, when asked about the “slavery” ↵⇥comments. “What he said is correct. You know what I said, what I want and what I would like. Now I have to wait and see what happens.”↵↵Ronaldo, who makes $240,000 a week if you just count his salary, hopped in his Maybach, purchased a round of prostitutes for his teammates, and then fell down and grabbed his knee when a stiff breeze blew by him. His pleading with a nearby tree yielded no yellow card, though adoring fans did spray the “injury” with a water bottle, causing the world’s best footballer to miraculously recover in a matter of seconds.↵

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