Celebrity High Guarantees Disappointment

Westlake Village High coaching meetings must be fun. It’s bad enough being a high school football coach: every parent is convinced their kid’s the next Barry Sanders, the next blue-chip wonder, even if all physical evidence points to the contrary. ↵↵High School Coach: I’m sorry, but you’re son just isn’t a running back.↵

↵↵Parent: You’re wrong! He runs a deceptively fast 6.1 forty! I’m gonna get you fired. ↵

↵↵It gets worse when the genetics actually back up a parent’s claim that their child is talented. As in, well, Joe Montana-like talented: ↵

↵↵⇥Nick, the son of NFL great Joe Montana, is transferring to the school in Westlake Village for his junior year and could eventually have competition for the quarterback spot from Trevor, a sophomore who is the son of hockey’s Wayne Gretzky.↵↵What do you know about football? I’m Joe freaking Montana, coach. Oh, that’s gonna be fun, fun, fun for Westlake Village’s coach. To make things even worse, Will Smith’s son plays wideout, a setup presenting the possibility that Will Smith could be arguing that his son would be more productive if Joe Montana’s son would be more productive if Wayne Gretzky’s son was throwing to him.
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↵The good news? If ever you wanted to come out as high school football’s first openly gay athlete, this would be the team to do it on, since absolutely no one would notice or care with all the flashbulbs going off elsewhere in the stands. You could wear a feather boa and rainbow stickers on your helmet and get no pub in this particular media fishbowl.↵