China Has New Coolest Tunes From Around the Globe For Your Listening Enjoyment!

While NBC was showing the American men playing beach volleyball against the Germans last night, we noticed a disturbing trend developing: All the choice cuts blasting over the PA were horrible songs from the 80’s and 90’s. They couldn’t even fall into the “ironically cool” category, which, when we’re talking about the two most ironically cool decades ever, is saying a lot. ↵
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↵Are these the songs that China thinks Americans listen to? Is this how they perceive our hip discotheques? We kinda feel insulted, really. Or maybe they were attempting to cater to the German contingent’s famously bad musical taste. Either way, as Shoals put it to me last night, “It’s like a strip club deejay with brain damage trying to deejay for a traffic accident.”↵
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↵To demonstrate what we’re talking about, here are the five songs we overheard last night. Rock on, China:↵
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↵“Whoomp! There is Is” -- Tag Team, 1993:↵

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“La Bamba” – the Los Lobos version, 1987↵

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↵“Centerfold” – J. Geils Band, 1981↵

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↵“Zombie” – The Cranberries, 1994↵

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↵“Ghostbusters” – Ray Parker, Jr, 1984↵

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Ty Keenan emails us with two other righteous tunes he overheard during Olympic competition that we must add to the list.
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↵“Tubthumping” -- Chumbawamba, 1997:↵

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↵“Don’t Bring Me Down” -- Electric Light Orchestra, 1979:↵

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