Nationals Minor Leaguer Bites on Jail Bait

↵Washington Nationals minor leaguer Garrett Guzman doesn’t just go to the ballpark to play baseball games. He also goes to the ballpark to pick up chicks, man. More specifically, underage, 15 year-old chicks. ↵↵⇥A professional baseball player on the Harrisburg Senators minor league team has admitted that he twice had “sexual acts” with a 15-year-old Elizabethtown girl, police say.↵⇥↵⇥“They met at a Harrisburg Senators game and exchanged phone calls and texts,” Elizabethtown Police Detective Clair R. Martin Jr. said today. ”(Guzman) then met her in Elizabethtown on two occasions.↵⇥

↵⇥↵⇥In both incidents, Guzman took the girl to parking lots and “sexual acts” occurred in the vehicle, the detective said.↵⇥

↵↵In Guzman’s defense, he claims that the girl presented herself to be 16, not 15. So, you know, that makes it totally ... uh, wait. No. No, That doesn’t help his defense at all. It’s still pretty freakin’ horrible.↵↵The article also states that Guzman was forced to miss all of the ‘05 season after being in a serious car accident. That incident, combined with the details of this little misstep with a high schooler, leads us to one obvious conclusion: Guzman should stay out of automobiles at all costs; only bad things can happen once he steps inside.↵

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