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The Buckeye Tree Attempts to Flee the State of Ohio to Avoid Further Embarrassment

Sep 17, 2008, 2:45 PM UTC

Words by Vince Grzegorek, who usually blogs over at FirstCuts, but will occasionally grace us with his presence here on TSB.

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â†µHere's a joke for you.â†µ

â†µâ†µQ. Why did the Buckeye tree run all the way to Michigan?â†µ

â†µâ†µA. Because the Ohio State defense wasn’t fast enough to catch it.â†µ

â†µâ†µNot true. Also not at all funny. My apologies. There is a real crisis, however, going on with the buckeye tree, the namesake of the Ohio State University. Turns out the tree (the fetid buckeye or Ohio buckeye) is trying to flee Ohio. So shamed by the football team’s performance the last two years, the Buckeye decided it was time to get the hell out of dodge and disassociate itself from the team. â†µ

â†µâ†µAs bad as Notre Dame has been, you don’t hear about a mass leprechaun exodus from North Bend. The Blue Devil remains firmly planted in Duke country despite a program that can barely be classified as a 1-A program, but an absolute 1-A embarrassment. Other mascots and namesakes have stayed, so you know things are bad in Columbus when the buckeye attempts to ditch town. â†µ

â†µâ†µA coalition called Save the Buckeye claims that global warming (and apparently not the miserable football team) is creating conditions too harsh for young buckeye saplings in Ohio, meaning that the tree could start moving north, to That State Up North of all places. Woody wouldn’t be happy.â†µ

â†µâ†µAlso, I’m still not convinced the buckeye isn’t just ashamed of the Buckeyes. It’s probably moving north hoping for a gig with Detroit Mercy or something. â†µ

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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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