General

Hayes vs. Hall: Rejoice! SEC Season Is Here

Sep 18, 2008, 4:45 PM UTC

Each week, SN NCAA football writers Matt Hayes and Spencer Hallâ†µput aside their petty differences to come together via instantâ†µmessenger ... and argue about their differences. This week’s topic: The start of the SEC season.
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Hayes:

I feel like it’s my birthday: the start of the SEC season. I’m abso-freaking-lutely giddy; the Coliseum was nice last week, but it ain’t the South. â†µ

â†µHall: Are you ready for the annual concussionfest that is LSU/Auburn?â†µ

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â†µHayes: I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life.â†µ

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â†µHall: Not even the return of the McRib?â†µ

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â†µHayes: Close. I want to see how Andrew Hatch reacts to those 90K nuts at Auburn. It’s easy to play creampuffs at home: let's see what happens when the AU D-Line is bearing down on him. â†µ

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â†µHall: For the first time, we'll see if a Harvard man can handle Jordan Hare. Man, that feels so wrong to type; I don't know if it's legal to write "Auburn" and "Harvard" in the same sentence. â†µ

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â†µHayes: I almost want to wear my Yale hat. Just in case LSU wins and I need to talk to Hatch. How’s this: “Auburn: the Harvard of Opelika.” â†µ

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â†µHall: There. I think that's a legal usage. So let me test a conspiracy theory on you: That Tuberville was "sandbagging" against Mississippi State in the greatest game ever played, 3-2. Probable?â†µ

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â†µHayes: Not. Even. Close. Dude, they're awful on offense right now. Chris Todd isn't ready (when have you ever seen a JC QB lead a team in year 1) and they have nothing else. â†µ

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â†µHall: They have a choice between a quasi-accurate, flop-armed QB, and an inaccurate running QB. Fun!â†µ

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â†µHayes: Ill take the inaccurate runner for 500, Alex. More dynamic, makes defenses think more instead of attacking.â†µ

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â†µHall: I would think so, but Franklin is in a wild bro-mance with Todd. â†µ

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â†µHayes: Look, I’m all for bro-mances. In fact, I kind of have one with Pete Carroll right now. But don’t you at least give your team its best chance to win? Anyway, moving on ... you're not gonna like what I’m about to say. Gators: overrated.â†µ

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â†µHall: Be shocked and awed: I'm okay with that.â†µ

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â†µHayes: Wait: I mean defensively. This is why I'm taking Tennessee.â†µ

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â†µHall: They won't play a real offense until they face Georgia. That's the weakness and strength of their schedule. â†µ

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â†µHayes: Every time it looks like Phil Fulmer is on his last spindly thread, his team comes out on fire and plays lights out. They can run the ball, and they can get after the quarterback. Florida, god love them, can't stop the run. I don’t care what their "stats" say right now: they don’t have the big, nasty DTs you need in the SEC to stop the run.â†µ

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â†µHall: The counter: Tennessee hasn't had a consistent run game since the first term of the Bush administration.â†µ

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â†µHayes: Check.â†µ

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â†µHall: So...with Dave Clawson pulling the controls and getting Jonathan Crompton to throw the ball over 30 times a game, I don't see them running enough. â†µ

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â†µHayes: Check.â†µ

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â†µHall: Plus, Florida thrives in Neyland.â†µ

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â†µHayes: Mate. Did you just convince me?â†µ

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â†µHall: It was a good contrarian effort on your part. And it helps that you're astonishingly gullible.â†µ

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â†µHayes: No, no, no. I’m staying with the Volies.â†µ

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â†µHall: Okay, to close: Georgia at Arizona State. Do the Dawgs, who never, ever travel, freak out when they get off the plane and wonder where the trees went? Do they just scream and run back to the plane and forfeit out of fright?â†µ

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â†µHayes: All I know is ASU is desperate. And Georgia better go there, take the first series and impose their will on Sparky.â†µ

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â†µHall: It helps that they can’t do anything to Rudy Carpenter that hasn’t already been done to him. He was sacked 57 times last season and beaten bloody by USC and Texas. You can’t kill something that’s already been killed. Therefore: zombie QB advantage, Arizona State, even though I've got Georgia to win.â†µ

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