Motorcycle Racing Can Lead to Severe Bruising

Max Biaggi and Kenan Sofuoglu: they have names, people. Oh, to you they’re just the latest thrill you get out of an internet video containing some wacky motorcycle racers flying butt-first through the air at 140 MPH, but they’re people, too. Very stupid and very lucky people, actually, who both walked away after this spectacular crash at a race in Rome yesterday.↵

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↵They only suffered “severe bruising” from the incident, a medical term that I think means your entire body, while not specifically broken in any way, is in fact one huge purple mass of uniform bruised tissue. For a similar experience, do this: have John Abraham sack you from a running start. Then, repeat this process 100 times or so until you start crying tears of blood, and we’re talking similar levels of physical trauma. I repeat: motocycles are really, really fun, and like most really fun things in life are very, very bad for you. Don’t ride them unless you think you can tapdance around telephone poles at 100 MPH or want to exfoliate your skin using a few hundred yards of asphalt.↵