Idaho Knows What Young Women Wanna Hear

I’ve never been to the great state of Idaho, but from what I understand, it’s made up almost entirely of potatoes. Much like how Wisconsin is a land of delicious yellow cheese, Virginia is comprised of endless rows of hand-rolled cigarettes and New Jersey is a one giant landfill. Stereotypes are never wrong. Anywho, the ladies over there in Idaho must be eating way too much of the state’s favorite starch. Either that or their self-esteem levels are so through the roof that they all need to be kicked down a notch. ↵↵Enter Shelly Robson, an adviser to the Idaho Vandals spirit squad. Recently, the spirit squad debuted the modest outfits you see pictured to the right. Yesterday, they announced that they’re doing away with the new uniforms in favor of some less-revealing threads. The reason ... well, let’s allow Ms. Robson to explain:↵

↵↵⇥The previous uniforms didn’t flatter every member of the team, and some girls said their outfits were uncomfortable, Robson said. ↵⇥↵⇥“Girls are just bigger these days, not everybody’s a size zero,” Robson said. “We’re not being a bunch of prudes.” ↵⇥

↵↵No, no, sweetie, you don’t look fat in that little cheerleader uniform. You’re just bigger than the girls we’ve had here in the past. It’s genetics, darling. Now put on those sweatpants and hoodie, get back out there and show us some school spirit!↵↵The Dean of Students Bruce Pitman also added that the school received some complaints about the outfits, which also influenced the decision to go to a more modest uniform, which shows less stomach and has a six-inch-longer skirt. But, shockingly, not everyone was upset that the girls were showing what their momma gave ‘em: “To be fair, there were a number of fans who liked them.” ↵

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