General

TSB in Tampa: Where Jersey Etiquette Dies

Jan 28, 2009, 8:38 PM UTC

Chris Mottram is on the loose inâ†µTampa this week. He'll be posting about various goodness andâ†µmisadventures here on no particular schedule.
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With Radio Row on a continual flatline today, I’ve spent plenty of the afternoon outside, roaming the Media Center’s surrounding area in hopes of finding something -- anything --- of interest. (Seriously: During my two Super Bowl weeks combined, today is the most boring of them all. I even broke down and went to a press conference. I never do that, and was reminded why about 10 minutes into it.) â†µâ†µWhat I ended up discovering were culprits committing crimes against fashion so malicious that there simply aren’t enough pink-feathered handcuffs on earth for Tim Gunn to lock them all up. The government should send astrophysicists to Tampa, stat, to study the mysterious gravitational pull that has created a black hole of horrible jersey fashion in this area. It’s truly uncanny. Before I show you specific examples of what I’m talking about, allow us to review the basic man-rules of wearing jerseys. â†µ

â†µâ†µ1. Thou shall not wear the jersey of a player who is no longer with the franchise, unless said player is universally consider to be a legend and is retired.
â†µ2. Thou shall never, under any circumstances, tuck in a jersey.
â†µ3. Thou shall not wear a jersey with any pants other than jeans. (Clarification: FULL LENGTH jeans -- no jorts or shants permitted.)
â†µ4. Thou shall not wear mandels with the jersey -- or at any other time, ever, for that matter.
â†µ5. Thou shall not wear a jersey at any time other than during a game in which the team the jersey represents is participating. So, wearing a jersey in public the Wednesday before a Super Bowl is questionable to start with.â†µ

â†µâ†µAlright, now that we’re clear, let’s go to the photographic evidence. Also worth noting: I failed to spot one single person who didn’t break at least one of rules 1-4, as stated above.â†µ

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â†µ(Despite tucking the jersey into shorts, that last guy scores points for a) Going with a Pat Tillman jersey; b) Being the first Cardinals fan I've spotted all week, thus proving their existence outside of Will Leitch.)â†µ

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â†µUPDATE: Here's a couple more violators to add to the list, spotted on my way out of the Media Center today.
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