General

This Week In Schadenfreude: Oct. 19

Oct 19, 2009, 5:33 PM UTC

â†µIt was 2001 the last time Ohio State lost to a team thatâ†µfinished with a losing record, as previously 1-5 Purdue is almostâ†µguaranteed to do. Since then, the Buckeyes have lost toâ†µMichigan once in seven attempts, ruled the Big Ten and entirelyâ†µforgotten what it's like to have a team that genuinely struggles. Theâ†µresults are delicious. â†µ

â†µâ†µIn the aftermath of Saturday’s not-that-close 26-18 loss to theâ†µBoilermakers, the Buckeyes are turning on golden child Terrelle Pryorâ†µafter his drama-queen recruitment. The Ohio State internets took toâ†µcalling Pryor “Lebron in Cleats,” or LiC, this offseason.â†µHow’s that working out? One guy on Eleven Warriors has a constantâ†µmantra: “only 2 1/2 years left.” Suggestions to change theâ†µnickname to JiC, or “Juice in Columbus,” are many, and theâ†µproprietor of We Will Alwaysâ†µHave Tempe has another suggestion:â†µ“Milicic-In-Cleats.”â†µ

â†µâ†µOther statements from one game thread on one blog follow.â†µTressel isâ†µa I-AA coach!â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥jbeveridgeâ†µâ‡¥says:10/17/2009â†µâ‡¥at 12:37pmâ†µâ‡¥pryor should have went somewhere that develops qb note tressel'sâ†µâ‡¥history minus troy smith see supporting cast and b10 but for being aâ†µâ‡¥offensive coach it speaks my point YSU is where heâ†µâ‡¥belongsâ†µ

â†µâ†µThe blog proprietor has moved the fanbase from fretting that they’dâ†µrather have Tate Forcier to an entirely new, scarierâ†µlevel of QB envy: â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥Jasonâ†µâ‡¥says: 10/17/2009â†µâ‡¥at 1:19pmâ†µâ‡¥Anyone here think they'd wish they had Joey Elliott instead ofâ†µâ‡¥Terrelle Pryor at the half?â†µ

â†µâ†µThe stakes go up with a comparisonâ†µto the much maligned Steve Bellisari, and then some anonymous commenterâ†µsees that and raises infinity:â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥Anonymousâ†µâ‡¥says:10/17/2009â†µâ‡¥at 1:20pmâ†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥Holy crap I am tired of Reggie Ball-Pryor.â†µ

â†µâ†µAnd finally, the mostâ†µperfect comment in the world:â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥NorCal Buckeyeâ†µâ‡¥says:â†µâ‡¥10/17/2009â†µâ‡¥at 1:28pmâ†µâ‡¥It's not easy being an Ohio State fan. No wonder we're a drunken armyâ†µâ‡¥of idiots.â†µ

â†µâ†µMmmmm, Ohio State, your Tears of Unfathomableâ†µSadness are so yummy and sweet.â†µ

â†µâ†µThe rest of the week in spleen after the jump.â†µ

â†µ

â†µACC

â†µâ†µGeorgia Tech surged into the division lead by turning Bud Foster’sâ†µVirginia Tech defense into Swiss cheese andâ†µVTHokieTBone7’s XBox intoâ†µa brick: â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥Subject: UGH. My XBOX just died while I was taking it to GT onâ†µâ‡¥Heisman mode.â†µâ‡¥Posted by: VTHokieTBone7 on Sun Oct 18 2009 4:41:11â†µâ‡¥PMâ†µâ‡¥Message:â†µâ‡¥CAN ANYBODY BEAT THESE GUYS?!?!â†µâ†µâ†µHokiemet takes up the all-caps baton, providing the topâ†µ10 signs VT just got OUTCOACHED. A selection: â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥07 - Doesn’t matter that they CANNOT or WILL NOT PASS - refuse toâ†µâ‡¥move more defenders in the BOX to STOP THE RUN.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥06 - Their TIME OF POSSESSION is 1:38 short of FORTY MINUTES!â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥05 - Your TIME OF POSSESSION averages 5 MINUTES PER QTR!â†µâ†µâ†µI like the effect of the erratic caps here. Makes it sound likeâ†µCaptain Kirk is complaining about the latest Hokie game: “Doesn’tâ†µmatter they... CANNOTORWILLNOTPASS... Spock!”â†µ

â†µBIG EAST

â†µâ†µLouisville ... yeah. Louisville is going to be inâ†µthis column basically every week until Kragthorpe is fired. Which should beâ†µsoon, but until then we’ll dance the dance of Fireâ†µCoach X:â†µ

â†µ
â†µ

â†µ

â†µ
â†µCard Chronicle, for its part, is justâ†µdone:â†µâ†µ â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥I tried yesterday to concoct a post that fully expressed my anger andâ†µâ‡¥frustration with all things Louisville football, but the sad truth isâ†µâ‡¥I’ve grown too numb to make that kind of concerted effort. I’m tired ofâ†µâ‡¥talking about Louisville football, I’m tired of thinking aboutâ†µâ‡¥Louisville football and I’m really tired of watching Louisvilleâ†µâ‡¥football.â†µâ†µâ†µBasketball season, man. It’s almost here. You can make it.â†µ

â†µâ†µIn Tampa, meanwhile:â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥â†µâ‡¥ â†µâ‡¥FIREâ†µâ‡¥JIM LEAVITT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥Undisciplined (any accountability for these players?)â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥Terrible Play Calling (running the same plays that are NOTâ†µâ‡¥WORKING)â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥Mike Ford still on the bench (He should just transfer to a schoolâ†µâ‡¥that will use his talent)â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥Stupid mistakes (dropped passes, dropped interceptions, BJ tryingâ†µâ‡¥to run around like crazy every play instead of staying in the pocket andâ†µâ‡¥throwing)â†µâ‡¥When is this university going to realize that Leavitt cannot takeâ†µâ‡¥this team to the next level?â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥Leavitt is like Tony Dungy from the Bucs, they need a Gruden toâ†µâ‡¥take them to the next level.â†µ

â†µâ†µThe “next” level? Jim Leavitt is USF’s level. â†µ

â†µINDEPENDENT

â†µâ†µNotre Dame came charging back from a 34-14 deficit to record Charlieâ†µWeis’s second-greatest win at Notre Dame. That was still a seven-pointâ†µloss, though, and NDNation is once again racked with civil war. A numberâ†µof posters enjoyed the comeback and are fairly content with the opportunityâ†µto send a game against USC into overtime. Some areâ†µnot:â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥I do not concede. There is some s--- I will not eat.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥by mkovaâ†µâ‡¥câ†µâ‡¥(2009-10-18 12:59:58)â†µâ‡¥â†µâ‡¥... Weis can go s--- in a hat for all I care. He’s dead to me.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥He does not deserve to lead these fine men.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥He should just turn his keys in and let someone who knows what theâ†µâ‡¥hell he is doing take over.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥We need someone who can lead men and inspire men. Not a Nintendoâ†µâ‡¥master.â†µâ‡¥

â†µâ†µâ†µMkovac is a master of the one-sentence paragraph and ourâ†µScott Tenorman of the Week. Elsewhere, anotherâ†µlate-game blunder by Weis E. Coyote isâ†µdrawing ire: â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥Someone tell me why Weis let more than 20 seconds runâ†µâ‡¥offâ†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥by IrishInvasionâ†µâ‡¥(2009-10-17 19:41:35)â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥after Parris' catch and injury on the 4th down play. And then someoneâ†µâ‡¥tell me how Weis should not be fired for such idiocy. We went from 35â†µâ‡¥seconds to about 13 before we got the next play off. Parris was on theâ†µâ‡¥field for a minute or two. Get the offense ready to run the next play asâ†µâ‡¥soon as the ball is put in play. Instead, Weis acts like the clock isâ†µâ‡¥stopped until the ball is snapped. Imbecile.â†µ

â†µâ†µCan’t even argue with that. When you’ve got first and goal with 35â†µsecond left and one timeout and end up getting a fortunate review toâ†µget a second back on the clock -- not many plays only take threeâ†µseconds -- and don’t even get your fourth down, you’ve just made a colossalâ†µerror.â†µ

â†µâ†µAnd then there’s theâ†µpain:â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥How many times? How many times?â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥by RMIrâ†µâ‡¥ishâ†µâ‡¥(2009-10-17 19:35:02)â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥How many times must I endure these gut wrenching losses? Someone helpâ†µâ‡¥me. How many times? It's become the norm and expected, that's whatâ†µâ‡¥really scares me.â†µ

â†µâ†µAbout half the time Notre Dame plays, with the other half beingâ†µlast-second wins. â†µ

â†µâ†µElsewhere on the Nation, Charlie’s time is up and it’s time toâ†µhire ... Steve Sarkisian.â†µAs long as it’s not Brian Kelly, fine.â†µ

â†µBIG 12

â†µâ†µThe worm has officially turned in the Red River Shootout, andâ†µOklahoma fans are looking for cheesyâ†µnicknames and heads: â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥[DC Brent Venables, AKA] Vulnerables is in over his head. He’sâ†µâ‡¥incompetent and has been exposed time after time, yet Stoops keeps him,â†µâ‡¥why??? Because he’s getting 4 mil a year and doesn’t give a **** if heâ†µâ‡¥craps out a garbage product. It’s time he feels some heat.â†µâ†µâ†µKeeping with the theme here, that comes from a thread originallyâ†µtitled “This is a Chumpionship Defense”; the original posterâ†µlater revised it to be less inflammatory but not before 317 comments gotâ†µblasted into it. One of them is a simple “uâ†µare retarded” in response to the “Vulnerables” guyâ†µabove, which ... um ... if you’re going to spell it “u” youâ†µmight asâ†µwell go the whole way with “are,” right? You’ve alreadyâ†µpainted yourself as a 14-year-old. The “retarded” thing gets echoed aâ†µcouple times before a defender jumps in and either confirms theâ†µdiagnosis or inadvertently reveals OU fans’ terribleâ†µsecret:â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥I am sorry the facts hurt your feelers.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥You guys were probably some of the same sunshine pumpers back inâ†µâ‡¥the Blake days.â†µâ†µâ†µOh my God, they’re insect-men sent from space to take over theâ†µgovernment! Prediction: they get to Washington with a huge, intimidatingâ†µblock of supporters, get confused, and spend their political capitalâ†µimpaling themselves on street signs.â†µ

â†µPAC-10

â†µâ†µOkay, Washington did lose a gut-punch of a game,â†µallowing a 50-yard touchdown pass with five seconds left. But what didâ†µyou think Steve Sarkisian’s honeymoon period would be after he took anâ†µ0-12 team and beat USC with it? Three weeks? At what point did you thinkâ†µthe Ty Willingham comparisons would start up? Never? Yeah, good thingâ†µthey don’tâ†µhave lines for that in Vegas:â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥
And you guys b----ed about Ty????
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥Worst coached game I've ever seen.â†µ

â†µâ†µTo be fair, everyone responding to this guy says he’s an idiot. He’sâ†µa persistent one, though: 508 posts and an ability to turn reality intoâ†µwhateverâ†µthis is:â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥Sark has more experienced players.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥Other than that, Coach Willingham would have a better year thanâ†µâ‡¥Sark (if Locker stayed healthy)â†µâ†µâ†µThere are members of Willingham’s immediate family who would laugh atâ†µthat. â†µ

â†µâ†µNo one else on Dawgman wants Willingham back, but they don’tâ†µwant defensive coordinator Nick Holt either:â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥
Holt plays like he randomly calls up Madden D's...
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥... just for the hell of it. Uh, haven't tried that one before. Itâ†µâ‡¥looks AWESOME!!!!!! Honestly, Richard Simmons would never have let thatâ†µâ‡¥clownfest occur.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥Up yours, Holt.â†µ

â†µâ†µThat’ll happen after losing like that. Better to tell your DCâ†µ“up yours” -- which is irrationally funny to me -- than to kick a dog,â†µI guess.â†µ

â†µâ†µAnd we’re keeping a close eye on Bruins Nation for any signâ†µthat UCLA’s continued ineptitude will break the newlyâ†µpatient braintrust over there, sending them into another maelstrom ofâ†µloathing on par with their epic campaign to have Karl Dorrell fired andâ†µpossibly deported. Is this the slightestâ†µtwitch beneath the eye I detect? â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥
Dear Coach Neuheisel: Go For The Win Or Die Trying
â†µâ‡¥Let me make it clear at the outset. I am not even close to giving upâ†µâ‡¥on Rick Neuheisel and his chance of success as the head coach of UCLAâ†µâ‡¥football program.â†µ

â†µâ†µ... but I am going to dedicate 2000 words to a delicateâ†µdiscussion of certain aspects in which Neuheisel could improve slightlyâ†µfrom the beautiful wonder-boy he is. Realistically, this will be UCLA’sâ†µworst team for a while -- they’ve had severe quarterback issues both of theâ†µlast two years that should ease as Neuheisel’s improved recruiting takesâ†µhold -- and the prospects for a full-on meltdown are slim. But I’m sayingâ†µthere’s a chance.â†µ

â†µSEC

â†µâ†µNothing much happened in the way of schadenfreude exceptâ†µAuburn’s hot start to the season coming to a definitiveâ†µend with a 21-14 loss to Kentucky, the first time UK has beaten Auburnâ†µsince 1966. Auburn fans at the big sitesâ†µare fairly levelheaded, but there was that nut-threatening guy fromâ†µlast week on an indie site. I wonder if that place has anythingâ†µinteresting to say? â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥We are in for a long long year again. And to be honest next year willâ†µâ‡¥not be any better. This years excuse is no depth. Next years excuse willâ†µâ‡¥be we are young. When (and I keep asking this same question year in andâ†µâ‡¥year out) will we stop taking these excuses and DEMAND Auburn must be aâ†µâ‡¥better team and compete instead of showing up once every 5 or 6 years.â†µâ‡¥Auburn needs to demand more of its football team and become competitiveâ†µâ‡¥every year.â†µâ†µâ†µAh, yes. Demand excellence. The quintessential message board war:â†µ“sunshine blowers” versus “demand excellencers”; itâ†µis by our discontent with the state of the program and our typing on theâ†µinternet that we will drive mediocrity into the sea. â†µ

â†µâ†µAnd I bet thisâ†µlady wishes she was an Oregonâ†µfan:â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥Chizik sucks.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥I want the $300 I spent on tickets and $400 on airfare refunded.â†µâ‡¥And $5 for the greasy funnel cake.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥When I get the total of health care expenses from sitting inâ†µâ‡¥sub-zero temp, I’ll add that to the bill.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥Lowder picked this a------ out, didn’t he?â†µâ†µâ†µMa’am, you ate the funnel cake. Don’t blame Chizik for that. â†µ

â†µâ†µHey, I wonder if we can find Arkansas fans listingâ†µthe collectionâ†µof horrible calls against them, posting pictures of refs with incriminatingâ†µblue and orange suits, declaring they’ll neverâ†µchant ESS EEE CEE again, threateningâ†µlegal action, encouragingâ†µfans to bombardâ†µthe SEC office with phoneâ†µcalls and faxes,â†µaskingâ†µabout refs rigging games, claiming proof ofâ†µSEC refs rigging games, posting pollsâ†µabout SEC refs rigging games, and wondering if they’ll ever hearâ†µif the refs get put on the rack? Probably. I’m guessing so.â†µ

â†µâ†µAnd then there’s thisâ†µguy, who wins the internet this week:â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥ Catharsisâ†µâ‡¥Threadâ†µâ‡¥< on: October 18, 2009, 08:55:06 PM >â†µâ‡¥I've held it in long enough. I've stewed and steamed.â†µâ‡¥I've cried, cussed, and complained. I've watched and watched againâ†µâ‡¥and the game always ends the same. Nothing I can do will alterâ†µâ‡¥what has been done. I am a victim of circumstances beyond myâ†µâ‡¥control. I have reached a depth of hopelessness and despair that Iâ†µâ‡¥have not seen since November of 1998. I am distraught, and wordsâ†µâ‡¥cannot express the sorrow I feel for a kicker who must surely feel worseâ†µâ‡¥than I do. Nor can words express the hate I feel for the stripedâ†µâ‡¥demons who haunt my existence.â†µâ‡¥There is but one way to ease the suffering that I feel. Andâ†µâ‡¥that chance is this. Beat Ole Miss. It is the only thingâ†µâ‡¥that will assuage my grief. I have faith, I have hope, now let'sâ†µâ‡¥roll.â†µ