Those Who Want to Run Insane Distances Must Do Insane Things to Their Bodies

Toenails are one of the many superfluous features of the male body. Women at least doll them up with some paint, but still, they’re plenty useless. At the same time, having them surgically yanked out isn’t really something that’s on the table for most people who are sick of looking at them.
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↵↵But that’s what ultramarathoners are doing, because toenails tend to hurt or bleed after someone runs an inconceivable 50 or 100 miles. But hey, a lot of runners get bloodied nipples as well. Are those the next things to be hacked off by the knife? I’m gonna go ahead and speculate that should that ever come about, more guys than women would opt for it.↵

↵↵Apparently, though, this ghastly toenail removal is the hidden ultrashame of the ultramarathoner set.↵

↵↵⇥Ultramarathoners tend to keep quiet about toenail removal, [“Born to Run” author Christopher] McDougall said, because they’re “tired of being freaks, and they don’t want to add anything more freakish to their résumé.”↵↵↵Ha. No, crazy running person. The first bullet point on your resume already states “insane person who runs 100 miles at a time for fun.” By the time anyone gets to the toenail thing, judgments have already been made.↵

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