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When You Think “Infamous Hair Swoosh,” You Think Alabama

Oct 8, 2009, 7:35 PM UTC

â†µWhen You Think “Infamous Hair Swoosh,” You Thinkâ†µAlabamaâ†µ

â†µâ†µIn retrospect, the only thing surprising about this story is that itâ†µtook until 2009 for some fey bowtie-wearing Alabama fan with ridiculousâ†µhair and an air of old money to post a video of himself talking smack toâ†µOle Miss fans, get outed on the internet as a budding male model and bowtie entrepreneur,â†µfield death threats, and end up on the local news: â†µ

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â†µâ†µThat’s right: “infamous hair swoosh.” I bet you a dollarâ†µthere are thousands of fantasy football teams and plastic guitar rockâ†µbands across the south named “Infamous Hair Swoosh” by thisâ†µtime next year. â†µ

â†µâ†µJT Bowtie, a.k.a. Taylor Fortinberry, describes himself as aâ†µ“fun, outgoing type guy who likes to have fun” which means heâ†µshould really be tottering around on five-inch stilettos andâ†µcoquettishly describing himself in search of an MRS degree instead ofâ†µtalking smack on the internet about football, but I guess you take yourâ†µinternet celebrities where you an find them. The local news describesâ†µTaylor as an “Internet Personality,” which is the lowest formâ†µof personality one can be. Taylor has an interesting definition ofâ†µoffline humble, saying the Ole Miss game is “going to beâ†µclose” mere moments before predicting ‘Bama wins by “at leastâ†µtwo touchdowns.” â†µ

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â†µBut let's focus on the real travesty here: as this guy is talkingâ†µabout the various uncomplimentary things people have said about hisâ†µhair, he mentions that "every '80s bad guy" gets brought up asâ†µa comparison, during which time the TV station is running a clip of Zackâ†µMorris. Zack Morris! What is your problem with Saved By Theâ†µBell, anonymous local news producer? â†µ

â†µâ†µThe comparison to ‘80s high school villians is dead-on, though:â†µ

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â†µâ†µThat’s not a parody, it’s a parody of a parody: that guy is Tad fromâ†µthat Southâ†µPark episode. The most disappointing bit is that this hubbub isn’tâ†µeven over something good. It’s just some guy in sunglasses calling Oleâ†µMiss fans white trash, which is tame by the standards of college football fans.â†µ

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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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