LSU And Ole Miss: May God Have Mercy On Your Soul, Les Miles

Ole Miss just beat LSU 25-23, and we have one request after watching this: may Les Miles of LSU and Houston Nutt of Ole Miss be allowed them to coach in the same division for the rest of eternity. After the usual lunacy of an Ole Miss/LSU game--key trick plays, hard hitting, and gifted speedsters like Dexter McCluster flying all over the field--the coda of the game came down to your usual crazy-ass collection of risky coaching decisions and improbable chaos, the twin hallmarks of both Houston Nutt and Les Miles’ careers.

↵After getting within two with 1:26 left, LSU had to go for two to tie. Why? Because Houston Nutt, possessed by the spirit of a mad antebellum-era riverboat Faro player, had already gone for two in the first half and missed it. LSU got a pass interference call on the first attempt, but then decided to pass from their own one, a failed attempt leaving them two points behind with 1:23 left and a long-shot onside attempt awaiting them.

↵A long-shot, of course, is what Les Miles calls “a retirement investment strategy.” Thanks to Ole Miss failing to understand that they could touch a ball after ten yards without penalty, Brandon LaFell recovered the onside. Have no doubt: this was the worst onside kick coverage you will ever see. LaFell ran past Rebel kick teamers like a dog at a picnic stealing a pork chop off a grill.

↵Then, as if we aren’t far enough out on that long limb of absurdity: with his team Les Miles, on 4th and 26, had his quarterback throw short of the endzone with something like ten seconds or so on the clock. (The AP box score still doesn’t have the yardage and clock down as of writing.) The catch is made with one second on the clock, and instead of running the field goal unit onto the field, LSU’s Jordan Jefferson lines up and spikes the ball to completely explode LSU’s last chance at a victory.

↵If you watched this astonishing flaunting of logic, common sense, and football strategy, may God have mercy on your soul. And if you are Tracy Wolfson, you may have a sexual harassment suit on your hands, because Houston Nutt gets awfully affectionate after a win, something you found out the hard way today.