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Come Fan with UsWednesday, August 5, 2026

Sammy Sosa’s Skin Does Not Look Well

Sammy Sosa says the reason his skin appeared so white in recent photos has nothing to do with being sick, or with having some sort of weird Michael Jackson-esque whitening procedure. Rather, Sammy’s skin is supposedly the product of a “skin rejuvenation” that’s taking its sweet time to rejuvenute:

"He's not trying to be Michael Jackson," said former Cubs employee Rebecca Polihronis, who talks frequently with Sosa. "He is going through a rejuvenation process for his skin," Polihronis said. "Women have it all of the time. He was surprised he came out looking so white. I thought it was a body double. Part of (the photo appearance) is just the lighting."

Maybe so, but it’s sort of hard to explain this away as bad lighting:

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Gah! Sammy should probably consider a refund on that skin rejuvenation. That epidermis does not look rejuvenated, we’re working with a definition of rejuvenated that does not include the Cryptkeeper as an example.

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