General

This Week In Schadenfreude: Nov. 9

Nov 9, 2009, 9:00 PM UTC

â†µThe Blue-Gray Sky has a succinct response to Notre Dame’sâ†µBCS-hope-crushing loss to Navy:â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ†µ

â†µâ†µI don’t quite know if that’s certain -- it would be tough to fire him ifâ†µNotre Dame wins out and goes 10-3 -- but everyone who’s taken a vagueâ†µinterest in Notre Dame football does. Merely suggesting otherwise isâ†µcause for NDNationites to call for yourâ†µaddition to the enemies list:â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥I recommend anâ†µâ‡¥instant banning for anyone who posts...â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥by 105Marquetteâ†µâ‡¥(2009-11-07 23:35:37) â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥...any of the followingâ†µâ‡¥sentiments:â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥1. I'm staying with Weis/We need to give him more time.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥2. Let's limit our discussion to "realistic" candidatesâ†µâ‡¥only.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥3. Forget it. Meyer/Saban/Stoops aren't coming.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥4. Weis isn't the one who fumbled/overthrew/missed the FG.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥5. Weis is staying. Bankit.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥6. How about X? (Where 'X' is a name that hasn't been mentionedâ†µâ‡¥because he isn't remotely qualified, but is suggested by the posterâ†µâ‡¥because it makes him look like an outside-the-box thinker.)â†µâ‡¥
â†µ

â†µâ†µYes, that’s right: the groupthink at NDNation is squarely focused onâ†µMeyer, Saban, and Stoops. Seriously. You don’t believe me, I know, butâ†µseriously:â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥So, do you takeâ†µâ‡¥Gruden now or wait for the possibilityâ†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥by FourLeafDomerâ†µâ‡¥(2009-11-07 23:23:48) â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥of Meyer or Saban after the BCSâ†µâ‡¥bowls are over? Tough call, I think. Announcing Gruden as our head coachâ†µâ‡¥on November 30th has some definite advantages over waiting until theâ†µâ‡¥middle of January for Meyer or Saban, one of whom would be playing inâ†µâ‡¥the BCS championship game. Getting Gruden on board would help preserve aâ†µâ‡¥pretty darn good recruiting class and improve our chances of it gettingâ†µâ‡¥even better. Likewise the ability to attract quality assistants.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥This option is growing on me, as is the idea of Chuckie on ourâ†µâ‡¥sideline.â†µâ‡¥
â†µ

â†µâ†µEven if you accept the premise that Meyer and Saban are pureâ†µmercenaries driven only by how much coin they can put in their Scroogeâ†µMcDuck vault, Alabama and Florida will outbid you. You can offer anyâ†µamount of money and they will fork over more. â†µ

â†µâ†µThat’s the what. As to the why: there is, of course, anâ†µobvious reason for this:â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥Divine retribution for the Obama outrage.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥tridentum | Email | Homepage | 11.08.09 - 12:50 am | #â†µâ†µâ†µ(For the confused: that outrage was having the sitting president giveâ†µa speech on your campus. Obama is pro-choice; the speech had nothing toâ†µdo with that.) Defensive tackle Ian Williams has another suggestion asâ†µto why: â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥â†µâ‡¥Yesterday, defensive tackle Ian Williams offered a candid answer inâ†µâ‡¥response to why the Irish were defeated by Navy. His answer? Notre Dameâ†µâ‡¥was “outschemed”, according to Williams.â†µâ‡¥

â†µâ†µâ†µ“Scheme” has been a hot-button word in South Bend everâ†µsince Weis rolled into town declaring his “decided schematicâ†µadvantage” was worth a touchdown per game. Safety Kyle McCarthyâ†µdismissed a similar question, leading to another press conferenceâ†µquestion, this one to the big man himself, and thisâ†µanswer: â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥“I did hear quite contrasting answers to the same question,” he said.â†µâ‡¥“From what I understand, Kyle McCarthy’s answer was quite differentâ†µâ‡¥where he said it had nothing to do with the scheme. There’s aâ†µâ‡¥reason why one guy’s a captain and one guy’s not.”â†µâ†µâ†µCharlie Weis is the first actual participant in college football toâ†µgrab Scott Tenorman of the Week honors, and Notre Dame is theâ†µobvious recipient of this week’s Tears of Infiniteâ†µSadness.â†µ

â†µâ†µThe rest of the week in spleen after the jump.â†µ

â†µ

â†µACC

â†µâ†µNothing particularly misery-inducing went down in the ACC this week,â†µwith scores going as expected and the losers all teams like Wake Forest,â†µDuke, Virginia and Florida State. You know, losingâ†µteams who have virtually given up on the idea of bowl eligibility.â†µ

â†µâ†µSurely no one in that bunch is going to mindâ†µan off year much...â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥Who in the world is running thisâ†µâ‡¥program??â†µâ‡¥Replyâ†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥For those that still think [Bobby Bowden] is "justâ†µâ‡¥fine"...Read this article. He has no idea what goes on during aâ†µâ‡¥football game. The players are trying their hardest to keep theirâ†µâ‡¥conference title hopes alive and BB (their head coach and leader) has,â†µâ‡¥LITERALLY, ZERO IDEA of what went on in the football game. Not even theâ†µâ‡¥Bobbyguards can defend this incompetence. The Trustees, President, AD,â†µâ‡¥and Boosters must make sure this ends next month....not next year.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥My apologies if this has already been posted. I checked the firstâ†µâ‡¥couple of pages and did not see anything about this article.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥Link: &"uhhâ†µâ‡¥hh..whatâ†µâ‡¥happened again??"â†µ

â†µâ†µ...oh, right. Florida State. It’s goodâ†µfor at least one group of people, though: â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥Why is Pepto Bismolâ†µâ‡¥pink?â†µâ‡¥Replyâ†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥I've drunk a lot of bottles by watching us playâ†µâ‡¥this year and was just wondering why its pink. Lolâ†µ

â†µâ†µUgh, the dreaded self-lol. â†µ

â†µBIG TEN

â†µâ†µIowa’s loss to Northwestern was the most predictableâ†µin the history of top-five teams going up against three-score underdogs,â†µbut that doesn’t mean it’s not a comedown from Rose Bowl, or evenâ†µnational title, dreams:â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥
F---â†µâ‡¥it
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥None of this is real. The #4 ranking, the accolades, or theâ†µâ‡¥undefeated record. We're just not very good. We feasted on a weak Bigâ†µâ‡¥10, crappy inexperienced QB's, and gift turnovers. I am done freakingâ†µâ‡¥out about this. I've tossed my last laptop across the room. I've criedâ†µâ‡¥out like a popped my groin for the last time. We suck and we're finallyâ†µâ‡¥back to the median, where we belong. We're Iowa, after all. It was aâ†µâ‡¥good ride, but it's over.â†µâ‡¥
â†µ

â†µâ†µI think this might have been an attempt to summon the mojoâ†µfrom last week, as a couple people suggest that this is a C&P fromâ†µan identical post on the Blackâ†µHeart Gold Pants Indiana game open thread. The lesson, as always, isâ†µthat you can only reverse-jinx your team when you really mean it. Whenâ†µyou don’t, you’re just right. â†µ

â†µâ†µIowa still has a shot at the big money, but thanks to thisâ†µweekend’s events they’ll have to win in Columbus if they want to getâ†µthere. That’s because Penn State fell limply to theâ†µturf against Ohio State. No more cryingâ†µPryor pictures for PSU fans. More flashbacksâ†µto the bad old days of Penn State quarterbacks: â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥Why did it feel like I was watching Iowaâ†µâ‡¥04Replyâ†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥ â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥on Saturday? I thought Zack Mills was at QBâ†µâ‡¥again. Mr. Paterno I want my money back after watching thatâ†µâ‡¥debacle.â†µ

â†µâ†µBuckeye punt returner Ray Small averaged nearly 20 yards aâ†µpop on seven opportunities, and this hasâ†µnot sat well with the rabble:â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥MC Escher, Rube Goldberg and Tim Burton my choice for specialâ†µâ‡¥teams coaches Replyâ†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥...at least with these guys as special teamâ†µâ‡¥coaches we could understand why the special teams are the way they are.â†µ

â†µâ†µProne to weird angles, unnecessarily complicated systemsâ†µand ... um ... weird hair? â†µ

â†µâ†µAnd this column is honor-bound to mention the continuedâ†µsuck that is the Michigan defense, which condemned theâ†µWolverines to yet another loss on Saturday and caused your columnist toâ†µstart reminiscing about the Appalachian State debacle -- known as “Theâ†µHorror” on the home base -- and old, possibly hallucinated cartoons:â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥[W]hen Michigan was down to Purdue in the second half,â†µâ‡¥some fan ten or twenty rows behind me kept shouting “they’ve got noâ†µâ‡¥heart” over and over again as the guy in the row in front of meâ†µâ‡¥called for Rodriguez’s firing. Having a conversation about Michiganâ†µâ‡¥football right now is trying to remember that episode of GI Joeâ†µâ‡¥where Destro finds a secret ninja manual in a volcano that allows him toâ†µâ‡¥kill people with precisely-applied touches: if you can just rememberâ†µâ‡¥where the red dots are you can spare everyone a lot of pain.â†µâ†µâ†µMeanwhile in the comments, not advocating for Rodriguez’sâ†µouster is now symptomatic of a “defensive,â†µconformist mindset,” which is something Greg Robinson couldâ†µuse. So ... how was your weekend?â†µ

â†µâ†µBONUS: This isn’t particularly relevant to theâ†µthrust of the column, but it may well be the dumbest thing ever seen onâ†µthe internet. Doctorâ†µSaturday’s comment section provides:â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥ 13. Posted by michiganladyâ†µâ‡¥Sat Nov 07, 2009 8:40 pm EST â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥Heres what I saw today...Purdue team being cowards in the last 2â†µâ‡¥minutes by wasting 50 seconds of play time out of fear that Michiganâ†µâ‡¥would move the ball close enough to get a field goal and therefore beatâ†µâ‡¥them.. â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥

â†µâ†µThey can do that? â†µ

â†µBIG EAST

â†µâ†µOnly three games, all of which saw the chalk prevail -- though inâ†µCincinnati’s case it was a desperately close thing -- so there’s nothing toâ†µdo but delve back into the wounded souls of Louisvilleâ†µfans in the waning days of the Kragthorpe era-type substance. Kragthorpeâ†µwent with walk-on Will Stein at quarterback this week over UL’s previousâ†µstarters, and it didn’tâ†µexactly work out:â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥
Youâ†µâ‡¥can't blame stein for any of this
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥he played as well as he could have. You blame the coach who put himâ†µâ‡¥in over the three other scholarship quarterbacks.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥I hate you steve kragthorpe. I hate you so muchâ†µ

â†µâ†µI like that guy’s style. I remember muttering “I hate you soâ†µmuch” verbatim at Jim Herrmann in the midst of Ohio State’sâ†µgame-winning touchdown drive in 2005. More:â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
Kragâ†µâ‡¥runs the offense. The offensive play calling (not execution) was awful.â†µâ‡¥Krag is f------ idiot who it completely overmatched
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥If there is one thing I won't stand for, it's people protecting Krag.â†µâ‡¥The kids on the team are playing hard. Krag is a lame duck of a pitifulâ†µâ‡¥son of a b---- who realizes the end it near.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µ

â†µâ†µLouisville has the ‘Cuse this weekend in what would be a fantasticâ†µbasketball matchup. It isâ†µnot a basketball matchup:â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥Someone really needs to create a bad ass Louisville/Syracuseâ†µâ‡¥highlight(?) video in prep for the biggest game in Big East history.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥This is the week. This is our time. This is our moment.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥Yes, I had to look up the schedule to see who we were playing thisâ†µâ‡¥weekend.â†µâ‡¥
â†µ

â†µâ†µSay it with me: basketball season is coming. What a weird thing toâ†µsay and mean.â†µ

â†µBIG 12

â†µâ†µNebraska’s turnover tilt-a-whirl caught Oklahoma in a bad place,â†µSoonerFans.com had to go with the Moderatorâ†µScolding Sticky: â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥The next person who starts...â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥a "hate on Landry" thread is going to get one hell of aâ†µâ‡¥banning.â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥Please post your vitriol in the 27 other "Landry sucks"â†µâ‡¥threads going right now.â†µ

â†µâ†µOne of 27 reasons is this picture yanked off facebook and posted forâ†µmocking:â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥â†µâ‡¥THIS is Our Quarterback â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥
â†µâ‡¥And tonight he provided us the worstâ†µâ‡¥quarterback play since the days of John Blake.â†µâ‡¥
â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ†µ

â†µâ†µNo one on the internet ever gets that you can’t mock a guy who isâ†µscrewing around for humor value. â†µ

â†µâ†µAnd thisâ†µwould be quite a world, wouldn’t it?â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥The kid had a bad game, but he deserves a chance to work it out.â†µâ‡¥Enough of this knee jerk reaction BS. If the message boardâ†µâ‡¥“experts” ran the team, there would be firings, scholarshipâ†µâ‡¥revocations, and public floggings after every game!â†µâ‡¥â†µâ‡¥ â†µâ‡¥

â†µâ†µâ†µNotre Dame should try that. It couldn’t go worse than the last 15â†µyears.â†µ

â†µPAC-10

â†µâ†µStanford 51, Oregon 42, totallyâ†µreasonable response to that outcome:â†µ

â†µ

â†µâ‡¥
ARE YOU KIDDING ME??????????????????????
â†µ

â†µâ†µSeriously. In all ways, that response makes sense even though thatâ†µwas about the refs. There was also a guy wandering around the Oregonâ†µScout message board during the game berating Chicken Littles, which ledâ†µto thisâ†µclassic exchange:â†µ

â†µâ†µgreengoblin: Wow...just wow.
â†µDuckdude1: Wow, good? or Wow, bad?â†µ
â†µgreengoblin: Wow not good. Stanfords offense ownsâ†µus.â†µ
â†µAZDuck: Your ignorance of the game is astounding.â†µ
â†µgreengoblin: your ignorance of the fact thatâ†µStanford is avg. 11 yards a play and [Andrew] Luck is avg. over 30 a completionâ†µis astounding.â†µ

â†µâ†µGreengoblin wins the internet this week.â†µ

â†µSEC

â†µâ†µNothing happened in the SEC this weekend. Virtually the entireâ†µconference took a mid-year opportunity to beat up on I-AA tomato cans.â†µThere was the LSU-Alabama game, and a rare (this year, anyway)â†µopportunity to drop in on the bar-none battiest fanbase in collegeâ†µfootball. Tiger Droppings is the place of choice for ill-consideredâ†µrants about LSU football, and this time I didn’t evenâ†µhave to click through to the message board to getâ†µthis: â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥The Southeastern Conference Offices inâ†µâ‡¥Birmingham, Alabama exist primarily to ensure the safety, fairness andâ†µâ‡¥integrity of the uniquely American game known as college football amongâ†µâ‡¥its twelve member institutions. Unfortunately, money has obviouslyâ†µâ‡¥corrupted their existence, just as it has so many other Americanâ†µâ‡¥institutions, like Congress, the stock market, and even the medical andâ†µâ‡¥legal professions. The Southeastern Conference is sadly American greed’sâ†µâ‡¥latest victim, evidenced by the ongoing conspiracy to name and playâ†µâ‡¥favorites through its compromised officials toward creating the mostâ†µâ‡¥lucrative matchup in the SEC Championship Game.â†µâ†µâ†µThis is not a parody. I think. I’ve read the whole thing, and if it’sâ†µa parody I lose and they win. But it’s not. Probably:â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥The SEC will surely stand by its replay booth official. It will tellâ†µâ‡¥us that what we saw, we really did not see. The camera, not theâ†µâ‡¥official, lied; and the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairyâ†µâ‡¥all concurred. Who are we to disagree as our most favored Deep Southernâ†µâ‡¥pastime approaches the credibility of professional boxing under Donâ†µâ‡¥King.â†µâ†µâ†µYou’ll have to forgive me if I’m not quite sure. â†µ

â†µ

This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

See More: