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Come Fan with UsThursday, August 6, 2026

The Heisman Does Not Discriminate Against The Stupid Or Lazy

For the record: the Heisman Trophy and its awarding organization do not discriminate against people based on their race, creed, color, or religion. Additionally, if the testimony of the voters is to be believed, the 926 voters do not discriminate against the stupid and lazy, either: of 926 Heisman voters, one actually admitted the following:

↵↵I never saw Gerhart play an entire game (we work all day Saturday and Saturday night) and only saw a few minutes of Suh’s game against Texas. I refused to vote for somebody based on highlights.

↵↵

Don’t accuse him of being too stupid to work a DVR, which is what every other writer does when he/she wants to see a game they didn’t see due to actually being at the game. That is a loud noise, and would likely confuse and frighten the cornered and terrified sportswriters. Once they’re backed into a corner, there’s no telling what they’ll do before they get winded, sit down, and begin complaining about the kids and their email.

↵

You can explain the oversight via stupidity, laziness, or both, but it is another reason not to care about the award, since the people who get to vote on it themselves don’t bother to see the bodies of work of the award’s candidates. With TiVo and DVR, there’s no excuse for not having the energy or ingenuity to press a few buttons, sit on your ass, and watch a perfectly entertaining game of football.

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