Charles Barkley No Longer In Tiger Woods’ Fave Five

Now that we got that obligatory joke out of the way, we can calmly and rationally discuss the news that Tiger Woods is shunning his celebrity friends by changing his phone number without telling them. Most aggrieved about this development is Charles Barkley, a man who is no stranger to making headlines with his lascivious ways and general impropriety.↵↵In a time of worldwide humiliation, the thinking goes, who else would you turn to but friends like Barkley and Michael Jordan, who have dealt -- albeit on a smaller scale -- with the fiasco presently dogging Woods? Of course, it could be a trust thing. Because if you can’t trust a bunch of people in Vegas to keep your various transgressions secret, who can you turn to?↵

↵↵Or more likely, it could be the fact that Jordan and Barkley are publicly known for Behavior Unbecoming of a Tiger. Or the fact that Barkley has been photographed with one of Tiger’s alleged mistresses (photo in this post) at a casino in Vegas. Temporarily breaking ties with them could be one of very many concessions Woods is making to his wife in a last-ditch effort for her not to leave him forever.↵

↵↵That, of course, is just baseless speculation. What’s really important is that Tiger opens up again to his famous pals. So if you’re reading this, Tiger, call Charles. He worries.↵

↵↵(H/T to Brooks on the photo)↵

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