Okay well we might as well make this clear up front: last night was SB Nation’s christm--(electroshocked by HR lawyers) our HOLIDAY party, and as a result, you’re getting a pared down version of talking points this week, one of which has nothing to do with basketball, and one of which centers on a player that retired 15 years ago.
But before we get started, a word about christmas parties. HOW AWESOME ARE THEY? It’s difficult to think of another setting in life where it’s so accepted--encouraged, really--to get drunk with a bunch of people who you only sorta know, and do lots of embarrassing stuff with people that, when you think about it, pay you to be responsible on a daily basis. And the craziest thing is that everyone knows this going in, expects this, and acts accordingly.
The only other parallel I can think of is a wedding, where everyone is just like, “(he or she) is getting married?!” ... “I’m getting drunk, and tonight, there are no rules.” Crazy hookups happen, people end up singing karaoke, badly, and suddenly you find yourself in a conversation with the father of the bride talking about college. It’s awesome.
Not saying any of the above things happened, but had they happened, nobody would have blinked. BECAUSE IT’S A CHRISTMAS PARTY. And a million different people are shaking off a hangover this morning, thinking to themselves, “well, that happened, didn’t it?” It did. “But hey, it was a Christmas party, all bets are off.”
1. The NBA Christmas Party
And that’s why christmas parties are awesome. Except for the NBA Christmas party, of course. That would just be terrifying. Picture David Stern: “No, really, please. Have some more sherry. It’s delicious, isn’t it? Good, good. I’m glad you’re having fun. I am, too. It’s a party, after all.”
You wake up the next morning, and there’s Adam Silver at the door to your apartment, severance check in hand. YOU WORK FOR THE WNBA NOW. MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM COMMISSIONER STERN!
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