SB Nation’s Aggregate Bowl Pick ’Em is off to a perfect start: 0-4, a record clean and free from the contaminating elements of victory or accuracy. There are excuses for the complete failure of our “experts” to even coming close to a correct pick thus far:
SB Nation’s Bowl Picks Off To Rousing Start
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Wyoming beats Fresno State? Incorrectly located Wyoming on map, confused with Saskatchewan, and went with the American team because we’re all patriots here at SBN. It would have been treason to do anything less.
↵Rutgers over Central Florida. Apologies, George O’Leary swore they were going to win, and he’s a double Nobel Laureate. Additionally, betting was heavy on Rutgers for the game, and Jersey guys have a way of influencing outcomes that can’t be refused, really. (Please let UCF’s mothers go now. No one likes hostage situations.)
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MTSU over Southern Miss. Because be honest: even you can’t find MTSU on a map. (I can, but it’s because someone there used to buy us all beer there in high school. Like a camel returning to an oasis in the desert, you never forget the essentials.)
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BYU destroys Oregon State. Well, it’s not our fault someone slipped BYU their first caffeine before warmups.
↵The excuses will continue as long as needs be, though going winless for all 34 games will be considered a kind of spectacular achievement in redefining failure. Any excuse to pop a bottle is something we’ll take at this point.
↵Sincerely,
↵The Management.
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