MLB Would Apparently Die if Jeter Did PEDs

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↵Today is like Christmas morning for hack sports columnists across the country. The race is on to see which one can write the most outrageous opinion about Alex Rodriguez. So far, they’ve stopped just shy of “DEATH PENALTY,” but some have suggested cutting him, and eating his $270 million contract, or that he should be sent to jail. The cynicism and bitterness of (many) sports writers never ceases to amaze.↵↵So, because today is about who can yell the loudest, we’ll keep our whispers to ourselves -- they’re rational nature would surely fall on deaf ears. Instead, we’ll point out the most ridiculous quote from a player about this whole mess that we’ve seen. David Wells had this to say to the NY Post:↵

↵↵⇥“If Derek Jeter tried it I’d be [shocked], and the rest of the field is on its own. ... Baseball would fold if Derek Jeter came out and said he did steroids. He’s just such a good individual. He’s a model citizen of Major League Baseball and probably a good role model for the world. That’s the one guy it would surprise the hell out of me if he did it.” ↵↵Baseball, a sport that has thrived in the country for over a century, would suddenly implode on itself and cease to exist if this one player, Derek Jeter, admitted to taking PEDs. This is a sport in which drugs have run rampant for decades, yet Jeter would be the final straw. This despite the fact that baseball has survived a steroid scandal surrounding both the owner of the most hallowed record in baseball (Barry Bonds) and the greatest pitcher of a generation (Roger Clemens). That’s startling news: The game simply cannot survive without this lone artificial symbol for all that is pure, and virtuous, about the American Pastime.↵↵This may be the greatest intangible of them all for a player known more for skills you cannot measure than for actual physical abilities. ↵

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