Jeff Reed Proves Gas Station Bathroom Theorem

↵This theorem states that nothing good can ever come from a visit to a gas station bathroom. Pittsburgh CHAMPIONSHIP kicker Jeff Reed offers the latest evidence, via KSK:↵↵⇥According to a state police press release, Reed damaged a towel dispenser inside the men’s room at a Sheetz gas station on Route 22 in New Alexandria after he became infuriated that it did not contain towels.
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↵⇥Store employees told state police that they heard Reed “banging on something and that it was really loud.” The employees said Reed then left the bathroom “using profane language in a loud manner” and stating that there were no towels in the restroom.↵↵Do gas station bathroom’s ever have the proper accouterments? I mean, it’s a gas station. This isn’t the men’s room in the lobby of the Plaza Hotel, with bidets and heated towels and a man to tell you your fly is down.
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↵Maybe if it’s the Plaza or, say, the the Knights/Ladies restroom in Fantasyland in the Magic Kingdom -- then you start swearing and breaking stuff. But if you need to take care of business at a gas station, you have to know it’s not going to be a sanitary experience. God made pants for a reason.↵