Wait, A-Rod Is Still Hanging Out With His Cousin? The Nerve on That Guy

A-Rod hit a home run in his first spring training game yesterday and the crowd all cheered. You know why? Because people enjoy home runs. And at that moment, when the ball is flying 400 feet, no one cares that A-Rod did steroids six years ago. And if he hits the ball 400 feet enough times this season, then everyone is going to continue to cheer until they all forget completely about the Boli. Besides, Yankee fans have much more important things to hate A-Rod for, like the fact that he isn’t Derek Jeter. ↵↵So, if we can’t harp on the steroids thing, what can we criticize Rodriguez for? Let’s see ... oh, here’s something! He left the stadium yesterday with his cousin Juri! You know, the guy who injected A-Rod with the juice. The outrage is flowing out of all corners of the internet -- from the NY Post to Deadspin. And why not? We all need some reason to be angry at A-Rod. This cause seems as good as any -- we simply will not rest until Rodriguez has shunned all the closest members of his family!↵

↵↵Although, according to Brian Cashman, we might not be seeing much more Juri this spring, which means we’ll have to find something else to fuel our A-Rod rage:↵

↵↵⇥New York Yankees general manager Brian Cashman says the matter of Alex Rodriguez being picked up from his spring training opener by his cousin “has been handled.”↵↵Juri “has been handled,” see? Yes, the Yankees “took care of him.” Juri and the fishes, they’re gonna be close “friends.” The field isn’t the only place where “hits” are taking place in Tampa. The team, they found a “killer sale” on cement “boots,” if you catch our drift.
↵↵[Crickets]
↵

↵