But Now What Will They Throw at the Preakness Porta-John Racers?

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↵In a shocking move, the Maryland Jockey Club has announced that starting this year, fans will no longer be allowed to bring their own booze into the infield during the Preakness. This is no doubt a massive blow to insufferable frat bros all along the Mid-Atlantic, who now must move the Preakness right behind the Warped Tour on the list of “money events” this summer. So weak, bro.
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↵The details of the buzzkill:
↵↵⇥No beverage of any kind (cans or bottles), including alcohol, soft drinks and water will be allowed to be brought into the public infield. Sixteen ounce beers will be sold for $3.50.↵⇥↵⇥Spectators will be permitted to bring food into the infield.↵⇥

↵⇥↵⇥Softening the blow was the announcement that there will be several added entertainment elements, including a pro women’s beach volleyball tournament and a concert featuring Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Famer ZZ Top, contemporary rockers Buckcherry and a local group yet to be announced.↵⇥

↵↵Ah, see, the folks at the Jockey Club ain’t no fools. Sorry, fellas, you won’t be able to bring in cubes of Natural Light by the truck full and you’ll have to leave your 60-way beer bong at home. But did we mention that there will be women in bikinis ... playing volleyball!? ↵↵Anyway, at $3.50 a pint, beer remains cheaper at the Preakness than any other sporting event I’ve ever attended. Fans should still have no problem getting drunk enough to race across the tops of Porta-Johns. ↵

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