Shaq Goes Where One Player Has Gone Before

During the conception of Shaq, our creator skipped the id and just gave Big Aristotle an extra super-ego. This manifests itself in various ways: he generally holds that he is his own boss, he decides to use humans instead of barbells on a whim, and he tries to pull off feats other NBA players can’t match. Such was the case Saturday, when Shaqtus sent out the following Tweet five hours before tip-off of Phoenix’s game against Washington.
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↵Charlie Vill a new wave a Villanueva of the Bucks tweeted during halftime last Sunday, only to be reprimanded by coach Herr Scott Skiles later in the week. Halftime tweets are now banned in Milwaukee.
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↵So did Shaq pull it off?
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↵The raging success is muted only by the facts that a) coach Alvin Gentry knew about it in advance and said he didn’t care, and b) the Associated Press reported the episode as straight news afterward. The end is here, folks.
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↵(Actually, some might argue that the 37 tweets Shaq sent between 3AM and 4AM -- he loves Toronto, Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Wu Tang Clan -- might greater indicate the coming Shaqpocalypse.)↵