Flyers Acquire Pronger for Lupul, Sbisa, Two #1s, #3, Arm, Leg, First-Born Children

By far, the biggest news from last night’s 2009 NHL draft was the trade the Philadelphia Flyers pulled off, acquiring Chris Pronger from the Ducks for a pittance.
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↵Wait, hang on, let’s look that word up again. Pittance... starts with P... that’s the letter after Q? No, before... pittance... pit... aha. Oh. Ohhhh.
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↵Did we say pittance? We meant the holy smoking hell’s opposite.↵↵⇥The Flyers acquired towering defenseman Chris Pronger and forward↵⇥prospect Ryan Dingle from the Anaheim Ducks for forward Joffrey Lupul,↵⇥defenseman Luca Sbisa, first-round picks in 2009 and 2010 and a↵⇥conditional third-round pick in 2010 or 2011.↵↵It’s a perplexing move for the Flyers, who have basically mortgaged their future for the sake of Pronger and the underwhelming Dingle. By the way, “underwhelming dingle” would come up a lot if personal ads were like eBay listings and had customer feedback. But we digress.
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↵While clearly the Flyers weren’t under the impression that Pronger is still playing at the same level at which he won the 2000 MVP--nobody’s that optimistic--the fact remains that Pronger’s on the wrong side of the career arc here. To think he’s the missing piece of the puzzle that gets the Flyers into the Finals over the Pens or Bruins next year seems like a stretch. Or, at the very least, far from the certainty one would expect for giving up two #1s, a #3, and two solid young players.
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↵Wait, we have late breaking news. The Ducks have also asked for and received the golden mane of a unicorn made into a Fabio wig, rights to the oil fields of Saudi Arabia, a re-animated zombie Andre the Giant, and the rest of the Flyers’ roster. DEVELOPING...↵