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It’s The Ugliest Game Ever Played, But There’s Nothing Prettier Than College Football

Sep 3, 2009, 5:10 PM UTC

Sometime between 10:15 and 1 a.m. Eastern tonight we’ll find out if anyâ†µsin is heinous enough for God to obliterate that whole “faith” thing byâ†µshooting thunderbolts into an offense against nature. That’s when theseâ†µtwo monstrosities will combine to create the ugliest game ever played:â†µ

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â†µâ†µBut putting aside all that, it’s college football (!!!) and a damnâ†µgood game, with both teams ranked. Boise is poised to make its biannualâ†µBCS-buster run, and Oregon kicks off the Chip Kelly era with but nineâ†µreturning starters. One of two memes gets launched tonight:â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥1. If Boise was in the Mountain West, would it get an automatic BCSâ†µâ‡¥bid?â†µâ‡¥â†µâ‡¥2. Oregon! Dethrones USC! Maybe!â†µâ‡¥

â†µâ†µâ†µThe only downside is that Ian Johnson, one of those guys who spent what seemsâ†µlike a decade in college, is finally gone, depriving us all of theâ†µopportunity to make whoa-Ian-Johnson-that-guy’s- â†µbeen-in-college-foreverâ†µjokes.â†µ

â†µâ†µNo matter, though. Every year I flip on the first Thursday night games and think “Mississippi State-South Carolina! I’mâ†µso excited!” This excitement even persists after a laughable first halfâ†µthat sees more interceptions than points. “Yeah, SEC defenses,” I think.â†µ

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â†µHell, the Orlando Sentinel's opening weekend previewâ†µhas a "which game are you anticipating most?" poll and Utah-Utah State*â†µis on there, but I still thought "what channel?" to myself. So there's a slightâ†µpossibility I'll short-circuit at the prospect of a 54-50 game betweenâ†µranked teams.â†µ

â†µâ†µALSO: I was pulling a random joke game out of my head above, but itâ†µturns out that, yes, South Carolina is taking its usual spot on theâ†µopening Thursday, and it’s against N.C. State. If only Russell Wilson didâ†µnot exist, that 3-0 first half would have been assured. As it is, it’sâ†µhalf-assured. Wilson was wildly electric last year, with the emphasis onâ†µ“wild.” Both games seem worth, you know, watching. As would Furman-USCâ†µat this point, sure.â†µ

â†µâ†µ*(Seriously. No offense to the fine people of Utah, but the Aggies wereâ†µ3-9 in the WACâ†µlast year. There are a half-dozen games against snackycakes of moreâ†µimport this weekend.)â†µ

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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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