Football Brawl In Canada Is Violent, But Politely So

This is quite the Canadian semi-pro football brawling video, taken at an Ontario Football Conference game between Hamilton and St. Leonard. It is followed by a series of horribly predictable Canadian puns and fictional dialogue explaining how such violence even came to be, and what happened in the moments surrounding it.

--They’re all hopped up on maple syrup, eh?

--“Je me souviens, parce que je suis un Quebecois, y donc je suis un francais, y RETREAT! RETREAT!”

--“You may be injured in this fight, but at least you’ll have the health insurance to go to the hospital and afford the treatment unlike SOME PLACES WE KNOW, eh?”

--“Who said something bad about the Tragically Hip? And who’s that same person who wants a broken face?”

--“When we beat someone up five-on-one, it’s not unfair, it’s teamwork.”

--“Ryan Reynolds is the finest thespian of our time, and Van Wilder IS his masterpiece!”

--Everyone carefully asked permission to punch before beginning, and then apologized afterward.

--Every punch here landed duty-free courtesy of Her Majesty.

--Don Cherry attempted to break up the fight, but no one could hear his pleas over his suit and tie.

--This would have never happened at Degrassi High, unless it involved Drake, and as a matter of record we’re fine with him geting beaten senseless by football players.

(HT: Jimmy Traina.)