This is quite the Canadian semi-pro football brawling video, taken at an Ontario Football Conference game between Hamilton and St. Leonard. It is followed by a series of horribly predictable Canadian puns and fictional dialogue explaining how such violence even came to be, and what happened in the moments surrounding it.
Football Brawl In Canada Is Violent, But Politely So
--They’re all hopped up on maple syrup, eh?
--“Je me souviens, parce que je suis un Quebecois, y donc je suis un francais, y RETREAT! RETREAT!”
--“You may be injured in this fight, but at least you’ll have the health insurance to go to the hospital and afford the treatment unlike SOME PLACES WE KNOW, eh?”
--“Who said something bad about the Tragically Hip? And who’s that same person who wants a broken face?”
--“When we beat someone up five-on-one, it’s not unfair, it’s teamwork.”
--“Ryan Reynolds is the finest thespian of our time, and Van Wilder IS his masterpiece!”
--Everyone carefully asked permission to punch before beginning, and then apologized afterward.
--Every punch here landed duty-free courtesy of Her Majesty.
--Don Cherry attempted to break up the fight, but no one could hear his pleas over his suit and tie.
--This would have never happened at Degrassi High, unless it involved Drake, and as a matter of record we’re fine with him geting beaten senseless by football players.
(HT: Jimmy Traina.)
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