CONGRATULATIONS NATIONAL CHAMPION. Sure, you don’t have a secondary and haven’t for the entire year, but defensive tackle Nick Fairley plays a mean backfield safety, disrupting the zone read and forcing Oregon off their game by not only terrifying the middle of the Oregon offensive line, but also flopping heavily on LaMichael James and Darron Thomas and thus slowing down the Blur Offense with sheer bulk.
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Cam Newton has a tidy game, fewer points are expected, and this undefeated Auburn team actually pulls down a BCS Title. No, really you get to keep it. I see you’ve already made “People’s Champions” rings and t-shirts, but no: this one’s yours. Seriously. There’s no USC or Oklahoma waiting in the wings to take it away from you at the last second. Go ahead and snuggle up with it, and don’t listen to Utah: they didn’t play anyone anyway, and if there’s any team that can both sympathize and respectfully disregard an undefeated team’s claim to the title, it’s you.
THE END
THE ADVENTURE HAS CONCLUDED. GO IN PEACE.
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