NFL Picks, Lines, And Odds For Week 12: Don’t We All Love The Lions?

HOORAY! Thanksgiving is here! And there’s no holiday that makes us appreciate football quite like Thanksgiving day. It’s like a Sunday on steroids. More food, more laziness, and even the family members that hate football will tolerate it at least for an afternoon.

Maybe it’s because I’ve never known anything else, but I wouldn’t change a thing about NFL Thanksgiving. Even the Lions. Watching them putter through an inevitable blowout is part of the charm. It’s become ritual for everyone to scan the crowd in Detroit and ask, “Why would those fans give up their Thanksgiving to watch this?” It’s been seven years since Detroit rewarded them.

But every year, the fans just keep on coming.

The awful uniforms, whatever faceless coach happens to stewarding the collapse in a given year, the one or two great players they always have that make us all feel kind of bad (from Barry Sanders and Herman Moore to Ndamukong and Megatron), the fans looking more helpless every year.... I love the Lions, and especially their fans. Without ‘em, the tradition wouldn’t be the same. Just owing to the law of averages, we’re not far off from a year when the Lions actually come together and storm into the Thanksgiving game at 8-2, looking like Super Bowl contenders. And when that happens, Thanksgiving will be more enjoyable than ever--nobody deserves it more than Detroit. And don’t we all have a soft spot for the Lions at this point?

Anyway, Go Detroit. Now let’s get into this week’s lines, courtesy of Odds Shark:

Listen, last week’s column was just a disaster all the way around. A 1-4 record--thanks to the Browns and Jets collapsing--and generally, just a humbling experience. It happens. I’m thankful that Week 11 is over, and I’m never, ever betting on Cleveland again. Let’s move on.

1. New Orleans (-4.5) at Dallas. So... This game didn’t really pan out, huh? Had the Cowboys turned into the juggernaut everyone expected, this could have been one of the games of the year. Alas, Jerry Jones waited up five weeks too long to fire Wade Phillips, Tony Romo’s injured, and it would probably be best for everyone involved if New Orleans beat the crap out of Dallas later today. Because otherwise, Jerry might get crazy and do something like hire Jason Garrett as the permanent head coach, and Dallas will get Norv 2.0 for the next five years. As a Dallas fan, I’m rooting for the Saints today. HARD. Give the points, take the Saints, because Dez Bryant can only do so much when Kitna’s under center.

2. Pittsburgh (-6.5) at Buffalo. The Bills have been sneakily good for the past month or so--dating back to their game against Baltimore, they’ve managed to scare some pretty decent teams, and they’ve won their last two. That said, it’s hard to believe Steve Johnson and Ryan Fitzpatrick will put up much of a fight this week, and there’s a big difference winning against Pittsburgh’s defense and winning against Detroit and Cincinnati. Take the Steelers, and if your name is Ryan Fitzpatrick, duck.

3. St. Louis at Denver (-4). Nobody can figure out Denver, and the Rams have been admirably competitive for most of the year. But the one thing we do know about Denver? They are a much, much better team at home. And the one thing we know about teams with rookie quarterbacks and not much else? They usually struggle on the road. Take Denver and use the winnings to get this made into a poster for the Broncos fan in your life.

4. Philadelphia (-3.5) at Chicago. I felt bad singling out the Chicago Bears last week, and that was before the steady stream of angry e-mails flooded my inbox on Friday. But come on. Have you people even watched the Bears? They beat up on Tyler Thigpen, yeah, but their games against the Redskins and Bills were about as ugly as it gets. And I know it’s a league full of parity and everything and we can’t rely too much on head-to-head matchups, but the Bears lost 17-3 against the Giants, a team that Philadelphia beat last week. Chicago also lost to the Redskins, a team that Philadelphia f’ing humiliated two weeks ago.

True, the Bears also beat Green Bay, a team that beat Philadelphia, but that was before Michael Vick emerged to turn the league into his own, personal playground. Take the Eagles, because it’s never been more fun to root for Mike Vick. So like, the exact opposite of Jay Cutler.

5. Green Bay (+1.5) at Atlanta. This is the game of the week, and really who knows? It’s the two best young quarterbacks in the league, and two of the four NFC teams with any shot at winning the Super Bowl (along with Philly and New Orleans). Atlanta’s been rolling recently, but then, Green Bay just ended Brad Childress’ career. It’s going to be a great game, and frankly, I’m picking Green Bay just to give myself a rooting interest. And because, when in doubt, go with the team that has the most badass player.