Weezy Friday: A Collection Of Lil Wayne’s Finest Sports References

I have no idea whether this will interest anyone, and there’s a decent chance that looking through all these photos in one sitting could induce a seizure.

But this is for posterity’s sake, you know?

Here, organized all in one place, a collection of all the Weezy Fridays from the past few months. No idea what we’re talking about here? As we first introduced the concept:

For every Friday until we run out Lil Wayne sports references, we’ll use Photo of the Day to highlight five different sports references from Lil Wayne’s endless catalog. Completely self-indulgent, yes, but what else are Fridays for?

Say it with me... BEST. RAPPER. ALIVE.

“Fly like an eagle, but noooope, I’m not Donovan, boy you better go eat some soup with your mom and dem.” -- Black Republican

“If you’re mannin up, you better show me you’re Payton, but you p****s ain’t ballin, no Sonaa Lathan” -- Whip It (Did he mean Gary Payton? Or Peyton Manning? And who’s Sonaa Lathan? ... Ohhhh. That’s clever.)

“Servin this track like, Steffi Graf, or Roger Federer, there’s no competitors” -- Sportscenter

“Servin these b****es like Lleyton Hewitt, and I’m right on the money like Peyton threw it” -- Looking at the Game

“In the club, like a grocery, I just bag a b****h, and you know I’m gonna score like Deion after picks” -- Back On My Grizzly

“Man I’m so high it’s like an everlasting fall, and I’m chargin’ these hoes like women’s basketball.” -- Banned From TV

“Them diamonds clear, like Smirnoff, them diamonds big, like Dan Dierdorf” -- Chain Hang Low

“I don’t really want to but these (bloggers) makin me, put a motherf****r on ice like the Maple Leafs. That’s a hockey team and I ain’t on no hockey team. But I’m a champion. Where’s the f****in Rocky Theme? Damn. Rest in peace Apollo Creed.” -- Upgrade U

“You softer than nylen, oops I meant nylon, perfection is the goal and I’m headed to the pylon.” -- Run This Town

“I must be LeBron James if he’s Jordan! No, I want rings with my performance, I’m more Kobe Bryant of an artist!” -- Dough is What I Got

No, he wants rings with his performance...

“Got the stove on my waist and we cooks, I’m in the way you can’t pass like Aaron Brooks”

Interlude: With a career average of just 3.2 assists-per-game, he could mean that Aaron Brooks... But he probably means this Aaron Brooks.

“I’m in the zone like college ball, spit fire like I’m sippin on a molotov”

“Young nino, n****a, do it for my team, Tim Tebow, n****a, I’m killin this s**t, grim reap flow, n****a”

“I’m about to go Planters, still in my prime, Deion Sanders”

“I’m in the zone like a fastball, and I f**k the game up like a bad call.”

And finally, for my man Brian who’s overseas and likes Notre Dame for some reason...

“Money to be made best a believe a n****a clockin, I run it myself like a quarterback option”

CARLYLE HOLIDAY!

“I got a lot but I can never get enough (yup), mama I can fix your soul, you need to hook it up (yup), Rocky Marciano how I beat the p****y up (yup)” -- Hood Sh*t

...And there’s Rocky Marciano with Ted Williams.

“Oscar De La Hoya, box ya like a casket, or Diego Corales, n****a keep jabbin” -- La La

3. “I’m off the richter, like Hector, Camacho, mannn Randy Savage.” -- Mr. Carter

“If you ain’t help me make it, don’t tell me how to spend it, and yes I know the rules, never marry Robin Givens. Mozzarella over chickenheads, we call ‘em cheeseheads! I Lambeau LEAP in a girl like GREEN bay!” - Damn I’m Cold

(Two Mike Tyson metaphors that are too explicit to print) Click here ---> So Sharp

BOOM. Oh yeah, and he also once did a song with Mike Tyson on the chorus...

I don’t talk to them boys that sat on the benches, coach put me in the game on fourth and inches”- I Can’t Feel My Face

“Talk tough till I take off your Koof, and I own my team, I’m like a Maloof” - Blooded

“I’m ballin on these suckas and I won’t pick up my dribble, retarded on the beat, sick, I spit hospitals” - Uh Oh

“I’ll John Lynch ya s--t, don’t tempt me bitch” - Cash Money Millionaire

And we’ve already established Lil Wayne didn’t sit on the bench playing football, but what about basketball? “I went from penny pinchin to private planes, never sat on any benches, I got in games. Starterrr Carter, ball harderrrr” - Stuntin

“On my feet like tough actin’ Tinactin, I’m runnin’ this, you should try tacklin” -- Maybach Music II

2. “The quarterback, well protected from the Warren Sapp. The young heart attack, I spit that cardiac.” -- Best Rapper Alive

3. “Beat the ****** up, call me Larry Holmes, Young Money Jerry Sloan...” -- Miss Me

4. “Stick my landing in a freak’s drawers, I have her bouncin’ back like Dominique Dawes” -- Stunt Hard

5. “Hat to the front, I’m lookin’ like I’m lightin’ up a bat for a blunt, stickin’ to the script tryin to kick it like a punt, my life is like a movie and I do my own stunts” -- Never Get It

Okay, here we go... Hat:

Bat:

Punt:

Stunt:

“She better catch like she Steve Largent, because I’m WASSSUP! like Martin” -- Dough Is What I Got

2. “I’d rather count a hundred thousand dollars on a Sunday, watch a football game and bet it all on one play” -- Best Rapper Alive

“White boy fresh, skinny ass pants, boy I ball hard like scouts in the stands” -- Fresh I Stay

“Ballin like Sheryl Swoopes, I’m colder than you, gonna need some Theraflu” -- Where U At

“And so what them n****s left me, when it gets cold, I turns into Wayne Gretzky” -- I’m Raw

“I’m a keep that s*** runnin like I’m Marshall Faulk stuntin on a Sunday, I’m Devin Hester and you don’t wanna punt it” -- Big Spender

“Blitz yo ass like a mothaf***in lineman, sackin paychecks with a whole bunch of commas, still wear red like an old 49er” -- Freestyle

“I’d run this s**t but I’d tackle it. You want me to break it down I’m a fracture it.” -- Forgot About Me

“You better call every pall-bearier in yall area, the ball carrier gon’ get POPPED if I’m coming ‘round the block, the ensuing drive get stopped. He gon’ drop like a flop on the court, I love sports, that’s why I play my b****es.” -- Da Art Of Storytellin

Popped:

Stopped:

Flop:

“Listen close I got duct tape and rope, I leave you missin like the f***in O’Bannons” - Cannon

...And that’s where we end. Because that line was the first time I started taking Lil Wayne seriously. Like, “Did he really just shout out the O’Bannon brothers? I might have to start listening to this dude.”

Next thing you know... Well, let’s just say things escalated from there.