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All-Star Weekend: Friday Night In Review, And A Look Saturday’s Festivities

Feb 13, 2010, 5:58 PM UTC

Might as well get it out of the way up front: Friday night could have been much, much better. Much better had I skipped the rookie game, much better had I magically found an invitation to Kenny Smith’s All-Star party, and mainly, much better if I hadn’t felt like complete and utter crap. If you were to put together a list of the “worst events to be really sick,” it’d look something like this:

Your Wedding. Pretty self-explanatory here. Gladhanding the legions of friends and relatives that flood your wedding is hard enough when you’re working at full strength. To deal with all that while sweating profusely and congested into insanity? That would be awful. Plus, if you’re deathly ill on your wedding day, it’d have to be considered a pretty terrible omen. First Day of Work. Nobody wants to come off looking like a sissy right off the bat, so you can’t just skip work. But then, if you go in, you spend the day sneezing on everyone, introducing yourself to clearly-horrified new colleagues, and generally making a nuisance of yourself from start to finish.
A Weekend in New Orleans. Of all the places in the world NOT conducive to healthy lifestyle, it’s New Orleans. Las Vegas deserves mention here, too, but with the preponderance of lavish spas and other relaxation activities, Vegas wouldn’t be so bad. New Orleans? It’s constantly humid, it’s full of drunk people, a good portion of the city smells like vomit, and the healthiest food you’re likely to find within the city limits is steamed alligator.

NBA All-Star Weekend.
That’s the list. And between the parties, the hundreds of NBA icons milling around willing to strike up a conversation, and the general 24-hours-a-day vibe of the weekend, All-Star Weekend should probably be higher. And yes, as a diehard NBA fan, I know exactly what I’m missing out on, and it’s killing me.

NEVERTHELESS... Friday was still incredibly awesome. The rookie game featured DeJuan Blair and Tyreke Evans, two players I could watch play for a million hours straight. That, and Kevin Love should be grandfathered into every All-Star game in the future, soley for his ability to throw picture perfect, 80-foot outlet passes. It's probably the whitest skill on the planet, but still, pretty damn awesome, and perfect for an All-Star Game. That, and Russell Westbrook hit for 40 last night, mainly out of boredom I think.

Those were the lone bright spots for the sophomores though. Other than that, the rookies were dominant, which makes sense because last year's draft class was terrible except for Derrick Rose, and Derrick Rose wasn't playing. As for this year's class, 'Reke won MVP, but ultimately elected to share the trophy with Dejuan Blair, who put up 22 points and 23 rebounds. This young man deserves the most badass nickname in history:

Other highlights included Michael Rapaport sitting courtside, 10,000 screaming young girls that resembled a screachier version of the soccer fan locusts, and Demar Derozan completely mailing it in--and winning--the halftime "Dunk-in" with Eric Gordon.

Wait, did I say highlights? I meant, “worst things ever.” Yes. Those were the worst things ever.

But today and tonight should be spectacular in comparison. For one thing, my health has taken a turn for the better, and in attempt to jumpstart my immune system this morning, I went to the gym, and wound up working out next to a woman that looked exactly like Halle Berry, and whom I’d seen with Dominique Wilkins the night before. So there’s that!

Wrapping this up because NBA Jam Session awaits... Today we've got All-Star Saturday Night, which features the Dunk Contest, the Skills Contest, the 3-point shootout, and the the shooting stars competition. Thankfully, Magic Johnson declined to participate this year. Most exciting? H-O-R-S-E is back, too! And the D-League All-Star Game! And... Other stuff! It should be fun, and I'll try to update you tonight, but let's be honest: now that I'm feeling slightly less miserable, it might be a while until you hear from me again. Whatever happens, check back Monday morning for a full recap of the craziness.

Also, T-Mobile is sponsoring my trip this weekend, and I won’t even lie. Most of the second half of the rookie game was spent fiddling the My Touch phone they’ve given me. Getting past the “touch screen barrier” took about 45 minutes, but I’d cleared that hurdle, it was an ADD person’s dream. Definitely worth checking out. Like a less pretentious I-Phone. So... T-Mobile!