When the third period of tonight’s Finland-Slovakia game began, the score was 3-1 and I thought to myself, “Heh, look at Finland keeping it close.” On Friday, if you remember, they were absolutely destroyed by the United States. Crushed. Embarrassed. Humiliated. Dare I say... Shustered. It was painful for everyone involved.
Upon Review... Finland Lives! (And Watch Out, Canada)
↵So keeping it within two goals was something of a moral victory for the Fins, until... What’s that? They scored four goals in the third period? They’re just won a Bronze medal? Are we sure that this really happened? It’s Finland.
↵My theory? Friday’s drubbing—it was 6-0 in the first period—wasn’t an indication of Finnish incompetence, but of American dominance. Look out, Canada. Finland’s not the pushover you thought they were. America just made ‘em look like that because we are THAT AWESOME.
↵So get ready. I’m not sure whether this is even 50% serious, but since the Fins won tonight, that proves that America’s better than anyone realizes. And the peaceful people north of the border are next. Ass-kicking starts at 3 EST.
↵(Is this the most obnoxiously self-centered, quintessientially American way you could possibly use to interpret tonight’s bronze medal game? Yes, yes it is. But... USA! USA!)
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