Just think of the possibilities with that headline. There are a million different directions that could go, they’d all be completely bizarre, and none of them could possibly fail. SB Nation’s Bad Left Hook provides the details:
Mike Tyson Will Host A Reality Show On Animal Planet
↵↵Debuting in 2011 and beginning filming soon, a new Animal Planet show starring Mike Tyson will “take audiences inside the intensely competitive and bizarrely fascinating world of pigeon racing,” according to a network press release.
↵“I’m honored to be a part of this monumental show on Animal Planet,” said Tyson. “I feel a great pride acting as an official representative for all the pigeon fanciers out there. I want people to see why we love these birds. It feels good returning to the rooftops of the city where it all started for me -- New York.”
↵↵That quote works better when you read “pigeon fanciers” in your best Mike Tyson voice.
↵And while “intensely competitve pigeon racing” MC’d by Mike Tyson should be pretty fantastic, you can’t help but wish for more. Animal Planet’s audience might blush at the suggestion, but what about Mike Tyson just fighting different animals every week? Would you watch “TYSON VS. BEAR“ or ”TYSON VS. HIPPO”?
↵Yes, yes you would. And yeah, this suggestion is insensitive for like ten different reasons, but just remember: It’s all The Simpsons’ fault.
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