So The NCAA Tournament Has Ravaged Your Brackets: Who To Root For Now

With the first weekend of the NCAA Tournament in the books and most of us licking the wounds inflicted by another year’s bracket catastrophe, it’s time to pick up the pieces. Who should we root for now?

With most brackets destoryed and most people’s alma maters watching from home, which teams are left that deserve our affection. But before we get to the teams, themselves, let’s outline some of what we’re looking for:

Given the criteria, here are the 16 teams left in the NCAA Tournament, ranked for their sex appeal to fans. We’ve dived the teams into two, separate sections. Contenders and Cinderellas. Even though most of Cinderellas are more likable than the contenders, they’re ranked lower because, let’s be honest: They’re probably going to be history after the first games of the weekend.

Anyway, enough prelude.

16. ST. MARY’S

Am I the only one who doesn’t think Omar Samhan is that great? Maybe it’s just me. He’s funny, but he also seems just a little too pleased with himself. Here’s what he said about coach Jay Wright:

“I’m a slow white guy, and I’m overweight. So maybe you don’t respect me because I have good numbers. But after I kill you the first half, what are you waiting for. I don’t know what he wanted. Did he want me to have 40?”

We love the self-deprecating humor there, but he’s also being kind of an ass. Maybe Jay Wright knew exactly how good you were, but took a calculated risk and decided not to double team you. And then to ’Nova guard Corey Stokes:

“Hey, you impressed me tonight,” Samhan said to Stokes. “Did I impress you?”

Stokes could only muster a smirk, which prompted Samhan to say, “I’ll take your silence as a yes.”

Does Omar really have to play the “disrepected” card after St. Mary’s beat a Villanova team that’s been spiraling for months? Like, we get it, Omar; you played great and you won. And you’re kind of funny, to boot. But the whole thing just seems a little bit forced. As if Omar’s actively courting the “zany-quote-machine” niche.

Besides, Villanova sucks. Talking trash to Corey Stokes and Jay Wright is kind of weak, no?

For now, it’s sorta entertaining. But the reason St. Mary’s is low on this list is because if they win this weekend, there will be more Omar Samhan than we ever bargained for. This would be bad.

15. BUTLER

Go ahead, try and name one thing interesting about Butler. And as a five seed and perennial tournament team, they’re not even really a Cinderella team. So... Who cares what happens to Butler? Sorry guys.

14. MICHIGAN STATE

While there’s definitely some added intrigue now that the Spartans are playing without their best player, Kalin Lucas, this is still Cinderella’s enemy. The Spartans are playing Northern Iowa on Friday in St. Louis. Would you rather have Northern Iowa reach the Elite 8, or a Michigan State team that’s been to the Elite Eight in five of the past 10 years, not to mention making the NCAA Finals last year.

Especially since the Spartans will be shorthanded, any games they win, they’ll be winning ugly. Even when Kalin Lucas was healthy, this was a grind-it-out type team. Now it’s only going to get worse.

Tom Izzo has won enough, okay? Moving on...

13. PURDUE

Sticking with the Michigan State corollary, “Shorthanded and Slow=Kinda sh—y” let’s go ahead and put the brakes on the Purdue Boilermakers. Chris Kramer has really impressed me all year, and particularly the past two games. He’s a gritty defender and scrappy guy that helps Purdue in ways that can’t necessarily be measured. These aren’t euphemisms for “He’s a white basketball player,” either. No. Those are just the reasons why I want to see him fail.

People like Chris Kramer are good to have around in life, but God they’re annoying.

He’s the type of guy that could help any team in the world, and there’s something to be said for a player that loves doing the little things. But that doesn’t mean we have to embrace him. He’s a good player, and he’s also incredibly annoying. Now that Robbie Hummel’s gone, Kramer personifies Purdue basketball: overachieving, “plucky,” and spectacularly blue collar. BOOOOOO.

12. TENNESSEE

It all comes down to your feelings on Bruce Pearl. Remember when he wiretapped a recruit and sent the NCAA a 2,500 word letter detailing recruiting violations? Oh, you forgot about that? Hmm.

Other than being a grade A snitch, though, Pearl seems okay. Whether he’s mercilessly hitting on Erin Andrews or parading around Tennessee women’s games in full bodypaint, the man knows how to have fun. And Tennesse, who kicked their best player off the team earlier this year, is actually a pretty great story. In the absence of All-SEC forward Tyler Smith, they’ve weathered the storm and put together some pretty exciting games. They’ve beaten Kansas and Kentucky. Who’s to say they can’t pull off the upset against Ohio State? It’s a fun team to root for.

Still, nobody likes a snitch.

11. CORNELL

This seems about right for them. They’ve beat two boring teams that nobody wanted to see, anyway. (Sorry, Temple fans. Maybe next year). You could jump on the Cornell bandwagon now, but chances are, the magical run will end on Thursday night against Kentucky. That’s not to say this isn’t a fun team, but rooting for Ivy Leaguers always feels a little dirty.

In three months, these kids will be I-bankers. Spare me your Cinderella sympathies.

10. XAVIER

Jordan Crawford did the Lord’s bidding when he embarrassed LeBron James this past summer. So they’ve got that going for them. Plus, Xavier’s one of those teams that just belongs in the NCAA Tournament. They never arrive with much fanfare, but it seems like, year-in and year-out, those pesky Musketeers make it to the second weekend. And yet, they never make it to the third.

Wouldn’t it be great to see a first-year head coach at Xavier (Pat Kelsey Chris Mack) finally get them over the hump? With Crawford, along with Terrell Holloway and Jason Love, Xavier’s got a couple players that could legitimately start at any major program. Kansas State will be a tough matchup, but not impossible.

Don’t count out the Musketeers. There’s plenty of room on that bandwagon, and Jordan Crawford (pictured) could make it a more exciting ride than anyone expects. Kansas State’s good, but they’re also reliant on two streaky guards to carry them. Xavier’s got a legitimate shot this weekend.

9. DUKE

The only reason Duke isn’t last on this list is because of the way we organized things. St. Mary’s may be the Cinderella that’s least deserving of our affection, but don’t kid yourself, the Duke Blue Devils are America’s least favorite team. They got the easiest draw in the tournament, they whine about every call, they get fawning media coverage at every turn, and even after the first two rounds, the best team they’ve beaten all year has been Maryland, at home.

But hey, have you seen Coach K’s new iPhone application? Check out CoachKapp.com!

Coach K provides personalized “coaching tips” to maneuver players through a series of dynamic obstacles which come to life through trend-setting graphics. Players also have the ability to customize their Avatars. Players will be challenged to dodge taxicabs and street vendors while racing through the streets of New York; avoid dragons and panda bears while speeding along the Great Wall of China; and sprint around campus while avoiding the notorious Cameron Crazies and other obstacles. The game climaxes in an intense head-to-head shooting competition against another player over Bluetooth. Facebook integration enables players to get a picture with Coach K and have it posted to their wall.

I would say more, but cursing isn’t allowed on sbnation.com. In any case, hating Duke is sort of self-explanatory at this point. And it’d be cliche, except... Gosh they suck.

“My life isn’t about playing games. That’s why my card is American Express.” Kill me now.

8. KANSAS STATE

Kansas State’s got a pair of great guards (Denis Clemente and Jacob Pullen), and a coach that’s infamous for wearing his emotions on his sleeve (read: he yells a lot). They also have purple uniforms--always fun to have an elite team wearing purple. But other than that, why do we care about Kansas State?

7. WEST VIRGINIA

You don’t have to applaud Bob Huggins, but you have to respect the guy for understanding that coaching at West Virginia was his destiny. And he doesn’t shy away from the white trash ethos that’s made he and the West Virginia fans so infamous. Remember when the Mountaineers fans threw quarters on the court? Yeah, that happened.

Again, you don’t necessarily have to love Huggins, but you gotta respect the symmetry he’s achieved by returning to his alma mater and aligning himself with such a trashy bunch. Plus, De’Sean Butler is highly underrated; one of those guys that doesn’t necessarily look that imposing physically, but a lock to have a solid NBA career. Those are the type of guys that generally thrive during March Madness.

If you’re looking for a team that nobody’s picking, with a solid chance to make it through the weekend, and a coach that’ll piss everyone off, West Viriginia is perfect. Drunkenly throwing quarters at your TV is optional.

6. BAYLOR

It’s only been seven years since Patrick Dennehy disappeared on Baylor’s campus, and after a lengthy investigation and cover-up from then-head-coach Dave Bliss, his Baylor basketball teammate, Carlos Dotson, was implicated in his murder. It was probably one of the most diastrous scandals in college sports history, and less than a decade later, Scott Drew has Baylor in the Sweet 16, and with a real shot at making it to the Final Four.

It’s one of the more improbable turnarounds in the history of the game, and we haven’t even mentioned LaceDarius Dunn and Tweety Carter, two of the best names in college basketball. (Tweety sounds like a member of Lil Wayne’s entourage). If Cranberry Haskins had gone to Waco, these guys would be at the top of this list.

Plus there’s Ekpe Udoh, a mobile big man that blocks four shots-per-game, grabs double-digit rebounds, and scores, as well. How is he not being mentioned as a surefire lottery pick? Would you rather take a center like Cole Aldrich, or roll the dice with Udoh? Instead, he’s relegated to the bottom of the first round. I blame Hasheem Thabeet.

5, 4. (tie) SYRACUSE AND KENTUCKY

Here we have our co-favorites at this point. With Kansas departed to the college basketball scrapheap, these two teams are the last well-oiled juggernauts on the map. For Cuse, Wesley Johnson finally looks healthy, and over the past two games, the team’s looked nothing short of dominant. Just winning with ease at this point. They’ve looked so good, in fact, that they might even give Kentucky a game.

As for the ‘Cats, Kentucky’s been dominant throughout the past few months. The Wildcats are the most talented team in the country, and maybe in the last decade. That’s not hyperbole. They’ve got four players who could potentially get drafted in the lottery (John Wall, Demarcus Cousins, Patrick Patterson, Eric Bledsoe), and a host of solid role players to fill in the gaps (Miller, Dodson, Orton, Liggins). On paper, it’s not even close between them and the field.

So, to reiterate: these are the two best teams left. Not even a question.

But rooting for Syracuse and Kentucky is no fun. And they’re so good, in fact, that you’d jeopardize your fan integrity by latching onto to either team at this point. Don’t you have a soul?

3. NORTHERN IOWA

Can someone explain to me why Northern Iowa can’t make the Final Four? They play like a Big Ten team, and over the next two rounds, in all likelihood, they’ll be facing... Two teams from the Big Ten! Slowing down Syracuse or Kansas State is another story should they make the Final Four, but Michigan State and Ohio State are far from invincible. Aside from Evan Turner, you could make a convincing argument that Ali Farokhmanesh is the best player left in the Midwest Region.

In other words, get on the Northern Iowa bandwagon now. The ride’s not over, and at least against Michigan State, there’s a good chance that their parade through the tournament could continue. Beating Kansas was a shock, but had they drawn a different matchup, A LOT of people would have picked them to make the Sweet 16. Northern Iowa’s a really good team, and people have known about them all year long. We just didn’t expect them to get past the number one team in the tournament.

Now that they got past the Jayhawks... Why stop now? Michigan State is good, but not that good.

So don’t write off (...looks up their nickname...) the Panthers just yet. This could be another George Mason moment. And a great excuse for fans to continue yelling FAROKHMANESH at the top of our lungs for little while longer. FAROKHMANESH!

2. WASHINGTON

The sleeping giant in all of this. Washington’s the rare underdog that’s actually really good. They may not beat West Virginia or Kentucky, but they’ve got enough talent so that nothing would be shocking.

Plus there’s this awesome video:

Among the Dancin’ Dawgs, you’ve got Quincy Pondexter, who’s a lock to become a low-first round steal in this June, Justin Holiday, the Frank Stallone to his younger brother (and current 76ers’ rookie) Jrue, and Isaiah Thomas, a 5’9, Nate Robinson clone. Oh and the name, Isaiah Thomas?

His father lost a bet:

Thomas came by his name through his father’s misfortune. James Thomas grew up in Inglewood, Calif., where the Lakers played their games at the Forum. A big Lakers fan, Thomas was so sure that the two-time defending champion Lakers, after rolling through the Western Conference playoffs unbeaten, would beat Detroit that he made a bet. If the Pistons won, he would name his son after their star point guard, Isiah Thomas.

Then, the Lakers’ two guards, Byron Scott and Magic Johnson, pulled hamstrings and the Pistons swept the series.

That’s just awesome. Washington’s won nine straight games, and especially since West Virginia just lost a starter to injury, they’ve got to be considered a threat for at least the Elite Eight, if not further. Could an 11-seed win the title? Maybe not, but Washington’s got a better shot than any eleven seed I can remember.

1. OHIO STATE

Is it possible for two players to single-handedly make a team irresistable? If those players are Mark Titus and Evan Turner, then absolutely. Titus, for the unitiated, is the leader of “Club Trillion,” named for a statistical anomaly that perfectly encapsulates his career. A “trillion” is when a player gets one minute of play, but has zeros across every other categoriy on the stat sheet. The 12th-man special, if you will.

Mark Titus is that 12th-man. And he’s got a great sense of humor about it. He nicknamed himself “The Shark” and for his last game, in addition to an entire student section decked out in Club Trillion shirts, the crowd was tossing around inflatable sharks the whole time--a distant cousin of passing a beach ball around, but so much cooler. He also made this video, which is equally awesome. Fundamentals montage!

So how is Mark Titus relevant to Ohio State, the basketball team? Well keep in mind: the NCAA rules, as well as responsibilties to his teammates, prevents Titus from getting in-depth about his experiences in college basketball. In other words, while his blogging has been awesome, it’ll be ten times better when he doesn’t have to write while looking over his shoulder at an NCAA compliance officer and the Ohio State coaching staff. When Titus graduates this spring, you’d have to think there’s a pretty phenomenal book on the horizon.

If Titus and Ohio State make the Final Four or win a title, the book will just be that much better.

And over the past few months, it’s become clear that he’s the best college basketball in the country. He’s carried Ohio State all year long, and sort of the way Dwyane Wade creeped up out of nowhere, Turner’s emerged as someone that’s likely to be making basketball history long after March Madness. He does EVERYTHING for Ohio State. His nickname’s the villain, and all year long, he’s lived up to his ruthless namesake. I mean, the guy broke his back in the middle of the year, and he only missed six games. SIX GAMES WITH A BROKEN BACK.

The rest of their roster is solid, but without the Villain, that’s an NIT team at best. And NIT team with Mark Titus (who’s telestrator work can be admired above), but still pretty ordinary.

Instead, Turner’s come from out of nowhere to make the Buckeyes a legit contender for the National Title. Certainly, they’re the favorite in the Midwest Region, and if they make it to the Final Four, all bets are off. There are a lot of awesome teams left in the field of 16, but seriously.

Do you really wanna root against Mark The Shark and The Villain?