Serie A Imposes Sunday School Restrictions on Blasphemy

For a country on the supposedly “godless” continent of Europe, Italy remains a pretty pious paese. Still, like anyone else, many Italians find solace from their frustrations by taking the lord’s name in vain. “Madonna maiala” is a fairly common knock against the Virgin Mary that’s used when misfortune strikes.↵While such comments might earn you a scowl or a short lecture in public, under new blasphemy rules imposed by top Italian soccer league Serie A, such language will get you tossed from the pitch.↵↵⇥Chievo coach Domenico Di Carlo (pictured) found out to his chagrin. Last week, three minutes into the second half of the game against Cagliari, Di Carlo apparently said “porco dio,” which essentially works out to calling god swine. For his troubles, he is banned for Sunday’s game against Bari.↵↵Now not only can players be disciplined for swearing, they can receive suspensions for talking bad about the man upstairs. Or His son. Or the woman who gave birth to His son. Or the apostles. While you’re at it, just keep your mouth shut about the Pope as well. Just cross yourself after every play. It works for Troy Polamalu in football, it can work for you.↵