Pulling An April Fool’s Prank on Kenyon Martin Was a Bad Choice
I have never owned a car bigger than the Matchbox fleet I had in elementary school. But I imagine that I might be upset if pranksters filled my car with buttered popcorn.
And I’m pretty sure I’m more mild-mannered than Kenyon Martin.
⇥During Denver’s 109-92 victory, a former Nuggets ball boy, Laquan Johnson, got into the club’s locker room, took Kenyon Martin’s car keys and filled the player’s Range Rover with buttered popcorn. The car had a white interior.⇥⇥⇥Martin discovered the damage as he was about to exit Denver’s Pepsi Center. At the time, he had no idea who had pulled the prank. Angered, he went back to the locker room spewing profanities and threats at teammates and other members of the organization.⇥⇥
⇥⇥“That ain’t no [expletive] joke,” Martin said. “I’m going to find out who did it ... put my [expletive] hands on one of y’all. I’m going to put my hands on whoever did it. You better believe that. It’s [expletive] personal. You better believe it.”⇥⇥
⇥⇥...⇥⇥
⇥⇥“How ‘bout if I don’t play in the playoffs until somebody tells me who did it,” Martin said more than once.⇥⇥
Subjectively, that seems like a funny prank. Objectively? That's one heck of a mess to clean up, and Martin's definitely not the right Denver Nugget to mess with: Guys who pick fights with Mark Cuban over a mother's honor are not the best candidates for taking pranks in good humor.
Martin threatening to sit out for the playoffs has just enough verisimilitude to be frightening, though. And the fervent hope that Martin can be a spark is certainly circumstantial evidence in the case of Nuggets v. Promising Season. Just 4-6 after a six-game winning streak in early March, the Nugs aren’t playing their best ball, and Martin’s absence has made defending post players difficult.
Some of the recent struggles can probably be attributed to George Karl's absence, too, but Karl is battling cancer, not a rogue clubhouse attendant with some Orville Redenbacher. Could there be a starker contrast on desire, in the NBA realm, than Karl wanting to be with his team despite debilitating radiation therapy while Martin bellyaches about a prank gone wrong and threatens to sideline himself?
If this season ends in first round disappointment -- and that’s looking likely, considering the Nuggets wouldn’t have home court if the season ended today and are 18-21 on the road -- expect this popcorn prank to be remembered as a stupendously stupid idea in the Mile High City. It won’t be the reason things went wrong, but it will be the symbol.
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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.
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