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Tiger Woods’ First Drive Is Accurate, And So Is Dan Jenkins

BREAKING NEWS!!! Tiger Woods has not forgotten how to swing a golf club OMG.

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↵His first drive flew straight to the middle of the fairway, and mirrored his general accuracy on the day. He sits at 1-under on the day after six holes as of right now, so he’s shooting ‘em straight. Hey, since we’re into metaphorical segues, so is Time Hater, legendary golf writer, and sportswriting legend Dan Jenkins!

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Tiger teed off on No. 1 to resounding cheers. Evidently there's a segment of the population that can't read.

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↵Dan Jenkins survived the Battle of the Bulge just to hate your ass, Tiger, and don’t you forget it.

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