Lionel Messi Inspires Cuckoo Bananas Statements From Diego Maradona

↵↵Following his masterful four-goal performance that led Barcelona to a 4-1 victory over Arsenal in the Champions League on Tuesday, Messi, the Argentine soccer phenom, deserves all the plaudits he gets. Even the borderline insane ones, such as the encomium offered by famous countryman and recent dog attack victim, Diego Maradona, who discussed Messi in his first public statement since he surprised his slumbering medicated Shar Pei, only to be bitten in the face. ↵

↵↵⇥“He’s at a select level, being the best in the world and a star at Barcelona. Lio is playing kick-about with Jesus,”↵⇥↵⇥“There are moments when you are invaded by loneliness, but you have to be strong so you don’t end up doing things one did,” he said, apparently referring to his drug addiction during his playing days. “I spoke to him a lot about this,” he told Radio Metro in Buenos Aires.↵⇥

↵↵↵I guess the morphine hasn’t worn off from his face surgery yet. But c’mon, how can someone be invaded by loneliness when they’re also playing kick-about with Jesus? After kick-about, Jesus wants to come over, drink Hi-C and watch old episodes of “Are You Afraid of the Dark?” on DVD. Joking aside, there’s experience talking underneath Maradona’s odd phrasing. He just might want to couch his deep messages in more concrete terms in the future.↵

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