Dallas Braden Can Now Perfect Samurai Skills

↵↵We had thought the hoopla over Oakland pitcher Dallas Braden’s perfect game would have died down by now, but we clearly underestimated the capacity for the world’s collective wonder over a single noteworthy pitching performance. ↵

↵↵For example, a fan commemorated his attendance at the Braden perfect game by having an image of his ticket stub tattooed on his body, along with a somewhat crummy looking image of the pitcher celebrating. I’m not one to consider a firsthand viewing of a perfect game to be a life-changing experience worthy of bodily mention, but then I don’t have any tattoos at all, so perhaps I’m not exactly the authority on this.↵

↵↵It’s not only fans who were inspired to tribute the Athletics pitcher. Braden’s shoe and glove endorsement company, Mizuno, decided to send him, of all things, a real samurai sword. Because the rune blade he owns is apparently way too inelegant for a pitcher of his caliber to be lugging around. Therefore, I say if he should ever toss another perfect game, or even another no-hitter, it behooves him to slice the final pitch in two. Or even do that regularly before he pitches. It’ll be the most literal splint finger fastball ever.↵

↵