Here’s how SB Nation recommends you operate your television set on Saturday, May 22. All times Eastern.
Your Television Loves You: What To Watch On Saturday, May 22
NBA playoffs
8:30, ESPN - Magic at Celtics, Game 3.
NHL playoffs
3:00, NBC - Flyers at Canadiens, Game 4.
Soccer
2:30, Fox - UEFA Champions League. Inter Milan vs. Bayern Munich.
Baseball
7:00, Fox - Cubs at Rangers.
Golf
3:00, CBS - Byron Nelson Championship, Round 3.
Football
Isn’t no football on today.
Football
Ain’t any football today! We gotta wait a few months. You keep botherin’ your old grandpa, I’m gonna sell ya to the desert people!
Desert people
Buncha people, live out in the desert! You know the desert a ways down the highway? That’s where they live.
Desert people
Their origin an’ purpose is a total mystery!
Desert people
If ya tell ‘em something, they’ll turn it into a riddle an’ tell it back to ya!
Desert people
That’s all I know about the dang desert people
Skeptical
The desert people are real, an’ if you keep carryin’ on about this, you’re gonna find out!
Logistics
I don’t know, I suppose they get their food from the forest people in exchange for knock-knock jokes?
Forest people
Eat your dang cinnamon flakes.
Cinnamon Toast Crunch
Right, Cinnamon Desert Crunch. Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
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