Paternity Suit! Albert Haynesworth’s Rocky Offseason Hits Another Bump

Without making any judgments as to the veracity of the claims put forth on Page Six of today’s New York Post, we can say for certain that this doesn’t make Albert Haynesworth’s offseason any easier. The lede pretty much says it all:

Washington Redskins star Albert Haynesworth is being sued for $10 million by a Brooklyn exotic dancer who claims he impregnated her -- then abandoned her.

Damn. It’s always an exotic dancer, isn’t it?

He’s been at the center of trade rumors for months, and as the highest paid player on the Redskins, he’s been the only returning player absent from the team’s voluntary workouts—not the greatest first impression for his new coach, Mike Shanahan. And now... More bad news. She wants 10 million, Albert.

‘Course, there are various red flags here. For one, according to the Post, her lawyer’s name is Salvatore Strazzullo, and as he explained to the Post, “This man is worth millions. She has had to apply for Medicaid to take care of her pregnancy.” Now, let’s take a step back and look at this objectively.

Doesn’t “Salvatore Strazzulo” sound like someone who might advertise his legal services on public access TV, and then when this “Brooklyn exotic dancer” walks into his office, clap his hands and rejoice, “Say no more! Open and shut case! We’ll leak it to the Post, make him look bad in front of the whole world, and BOOM! We got him!”

“How much you wanna get? $5 million? $10 million? Let’s go with 10. Yeah. That seems fair.”

None of which is to say that this part of the lawsuit isn’t true:

She claims in the documents that after learning about the pregnancy, Haynesworth promised to “emotionally and financially support Silvia.” But, “after making such promises ... Haynesworth has abandoned the pregnant Sylvia [sic] Mena ... He has refused to provide any emotional or financial support of Silvia Mena or his unborn child.”

If those claims are accurate—or even partly accurate—here’s to hoping this woman wins whatever child support Haynesworth can offer. Then again, with this stuff, it’s always best to reserve judgment.

For now, the only thing we know for sure is that Albert Haynesworth has one more headache to deal with this offseason. That, and the new Redskins regime can add one more red flag next to the name at the top of their payroll....