Portugal Players Reject Facebook Pleas For Mustaches

Facebook members have been buoyed by their sense of influence ever since they got Betty White to host Saturday Night Live, but maybe now a reality check has come. A group of 10,000 on the site has committed themselves to encouraging the Portuguese national team to grow mustaches. Usually the facial hair thing for big tournaments is more an accepted part of hockey culture, but why not? It might be good for a lark. The hipsters here in America would certainly find a new favorite to gush over.↵↵But, oops, sorry you wacky Internet funsters. The Portuguese team has heard of your campaign and have issued a hardy “SMH” in disapproval. ↵

↵↵⇥Paulo Ferreira (pictured) says Portugal’s players will refuse to grow moustaches for the World Cup.↵⇥↵⇥Portugal fans have held up banners asking the players to grow moustaches as a gesture of solidarity, reminiscent of the way Romania’s squad bleached their hair in 1998. ↵⇥

↵⇥↵⇥But Chelsea full back Ferreira said: ‘I don’t think so, I could never see myself with a mustache. It would only make us figures of fun.’↵⇥

↵↵ ↵↵You know what will also make you a figure of fun? Clunky phrasing. I kid, of course, but there’s so much to embrace about sporting the mustache. Even if you come up short in South Africa, you’ll forever be a champion in the hearts of the American Mustache Institute. Or, y’know, if there’s one in Portugal.↵

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