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Howard Skolnik Has A “Longest Yard” Dream Team; Who Else Belongs?

May 28, 2010, 6:40 PM UTC

â†µâ†µAs director of the Nevada Department of Corrections since 2007, Howard Skolnik oversees a system that has held O.J. Simpson and Adam (formerly “Pacman”) Jones in its system at one point. Sadly for him, it missed getting Michael Vick as well. He would’ve had what he thought was the closest real-life version of The Longest Yard.â†µ

â†µâ†µâ‡¥“And I would have traded a couple sex offenders to get Michael Vick,” Skolnik said.â†µâ†µâ†µNot sure that’s fair value for the other prison system, but then I’ll leave it for those of you in the judicial system to be the judge of that. In terms of physical talent among NFL players who have served prison terms, Vick has to be high up on the list. Though, had Ben Roethlisberger been charged and convicted for the sexual accusations made against him, he would have easily gotten the nod at QB.â†µ

â†µâ†µWhat other players would belong on an NFL Longest Yard Dream Team? For that, we can only cull players that have received actual prison sentences. This makes matters slightly more difficult, as a criminal justice system perceived as lenient toward professional athletes has kept some more talented possibilities from ever seeing the inside of a jail cell. A simple arrest, or even a conviction and probation simply won’t do. We need guys who have done hard time.â†µ

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â†µPlaxico Burress is a fairly obvious choice right off the bat. Tremendously talented receiver who is dominant when he's not shooting himself in the leg. Donte Stallworth could serve as a capable option as the alternate wideout. Rae Carruth at slot is a possibility, at least if you want to scare the bejesus out of an opposing defender.â†µ

â†µâ†µO.J. Simpson is far and away the best tailback, but in the modern day NFL, you have to have some depth in the backfield, which is why Jamal Lewis, Mercury Morris and Stanley Wilson could certainly come in handy to spell The Juice. If you need another power back, there’s always Bam Morris.â†µ

â†µâ†µNot a lot of depth on the offensive line. Nate Newton is a nice start, but there’s not a lot of NFL quality talent to build around him. On the other hand, the defensive line is downright loaded. Dexter Manley, Tank Johnson and Alonzo Spellman form the core of a very solid group up front. We don’t know what’s going to happen with the Lawrence Taylor case, but pairing him with Thomas “Hollywood” Henderson at linebacker is too tantalizing a prospect not to consider.â†µ

â†µâ†µIn the secondary, former Rams corner Darryl Henley brings a veteran presence at corner alongside Jones. If you need a nickelback, there’s the relatively inexperienced Dwayne Goodrich, who never amassed much experience after being drafted by the Cowboys before deep-sixing his playing career with two counts of criminally negligent homicide. Let’s hope they can cover one-on-one, because we’re struggling for some safety help.â†µ

â†µâ†µLikewise, special teams will be an issue, though Jeff Reed or Sebastian Janikowski could conceive to help us out any one of these days. It could have done with Tony Zendejas acquittal of rape charges last year leaves this team starving for a kicker.â†µ

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This post originally appeared on the Sporting Blog. For more, see The Sporting Blog Archives.

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