Every day, we’ll canvass the internet for some of the finest bits of insight you’ll find from athletes, ANYWHERE. Really, you won’t find it anywhere else, because these are completely made up.
(Fake) Athlete Tweets: Roger Goodell Created Quite A Stir Last Night
Last night, NFL Roger Goodell decided to reach out to NFL fans around the internet and share his enthusiasm for one of America’s favorite tailgate foods. And then all hell broke loose, when numerous NFL players began mocking him, and then... Well, you’ll see.
Hey there, football fans. Mrs. Goodell is out of town for the week, which means I get to enjoy my favorite tailgate food tonight.... #NFL
Roger Goodell
nflcommish
Some big, juicy, mouth-watering italian sausage. MMMMMMMM! http://twitpic.com/2ibrhrRoger Goodell
nflcommish
@nflcommish HOLY SH*T #PAUSE #PAUSE #PAUSE
Santonio Holmes
santonio10
@Santonio10 @nflcommish LMAO. sumbuddy call da #PAUSEPOLICE
Chris Johnson
ChrisJohnson28
@Santonio10 @ChrisJohnson28 What? What do you mean pause? You want me to stop eating? Roger Goodell
nflcommish
@nflcommish Sir, I believe it's one of those "hip hop" things. 
Brian McCarthy
NFLprguy
@nflcommish Roger, it sounds like you're in need of some spiritual guidance. Have you read my book?
Tony Dungy
TonyDungy
@Santonio10 @ChrisJohnson28 What is so funny guys?? My wife is out of town, I called up some old friends, and we're enjoying some sausage #simpleRoger Goodell
nflcommish
......... SMH #pause
Michael Vick
MV7isback
@nflcommish Roger, we can fix this. Here's a link to my book: http://amzn.to/aLfshHTony Dungy
TonyDungy
Football fans, my two favorite things in life are sausage and fudge. Not sure what all the fuss is about. "#Pause"Roger Goodell
nflcommish
@nflcommish Sausage and fudge lmao. *diana ross voice* STOP, in the name of #PAUSE, before u break my #PAUSE lolololol
Laron Landry
MrLandry30
@MrLandry30 Diana Ross voice? you got somethin you wanna tell the team? #pause
Chris Cooley
thecooleyzone
EYOOOO @nflcommish u need to add some FRUIT to dat diet lmao #PAUSE #PAUSE #PAUSE #PAUSESantonio Holmes
santonio10
@santonio10 funny you should say that, Santonio. I'm actually tossing a salad as I type this :) #fiber #pauseRoger Goodell
nflcommish
@nflcommish Sir, we need to talk about what #PAUSE means. Can you call me quickly?Brian McCarthy
NFLprguy
@NFLprguy I'd love to, but you know what? Tony Dungy told me you can't press #pause on life. I'm tossing a salad right now Roger Goodell
nflcommish
@nflcommish Okay, can we talk about what just happened with Mr. Holmes then? Brian McCarthy
NFLprguy
@NFLprguy I once told Mike Vick you can't turn back time. You can only look forward. And I'm looking forward to EATING FUDGE ALL NIGHT! Roger Goodell
nflcommish
Oh christ. Brian McCarthy
NFLprguy
@nflcommish Roger, I'm driving over to your place. I need to see you as soon as possible. Brian McCarthy
NFLprguy
@NFLprguy K. Oh, COMMISSIONER'S ORDER... Bring those nuts I like! You know they're the commissioner's weakness :) Roger Goodell
nflcommish
@nflcommish I'll see what I can do.Brian McCarthy
NFLprguy
So commish havin a sausage party, tossin salad, eatin fudge, and his assistant bringin over his nuts. You tell me, tweeps. You tell me. #NFL
Chad Ochocinco
OGOchoCinco
It was a wild night, that’s for sure. Fake Tweets will be back Monday after a brief #PAUSE.
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