What Is This Thing?
About The Ham Sandwich
↵The Ham Sandwich is a part of SB Nation that’ll allow me to write more freely. Over the past year, as SB Nation has grown, it’s become less and less acceptable for me to launch horribly biased attacks against certain teams or individuals, because in some sense, SBNation.com is a representation of all 200+ blogs on our network. Does everyone hate Duke basketball or Indianapolis Colts fans or Brett Favre? No, but I do.
↵What gets written here is my opinion, and not that of SB Nation, anyone else that works on SBNation.com, any of our sponsors, or anyone else blogging for our network. Cool? Cool.
↵What Will Change?
↵Truthfully, not much. The only difference between the current situation and that of the past 12 months is that now, you’ll be able to find all my work on one page. I’ll also have some leeway to write about pop culture and certain topics that go beyond sports, but that won’t come at the expense of anything that I’ve been doing on SB Nation’s front page.
↵Why Should I Visit The Ham Sandwich?
↵Basically, because I spend most of the day online, sifting through ridiculous videos, weird stories, and making stupid jokes. The Ham Sandwich will filter all of that for you--ideally, giving you the best of what’s out there, without having to waste your time spending all day on Twitter (Ahem... Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)
↵Every day there will be a few pieces of commentary in the left hand column (“From Our Editors”) that won’t be featured anywhere else on SB Nation, and the stories in the center column will aggregate some of the best articles from around the web--some from SB Nation, some about sports, and some about other stuff.
↵What Other Features Should We Expect?
↵Good question. We’ll see what happens as this whole project unfolds, but for now, you can expect a “Photo of the Day” every morning, and a collection of “(Fake) Athlete Tweets” every afternoon, in addition to a collection of links to some of my favorite writing from around the internet each day.
↵The “Athlete Tweets” feature will involve commentary from some of the biggest stars in sports on some of the most pressing issues of the day. These will be completely fabricated, so... Take them with a grain of salt, and have a sense of humor about all this. As for the links to other writing from around the web, it’ll be everything from the Kissing Suzy Kolber Sex/Fantasy Football Mailbag, to Roger Ebert’s smackdown of Jay Mariotti, to The Making of Outkast’s Aquemini, to Spencer Hall’s superbly understated essay, Why Kenny Chesney Should Be Beaten With Sticks.
↵And photo of the day? Well, that’s pretty self-explanatory. Everything from this:
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↵To this:
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↵Or maybe this:
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↵Sports is full of awesome photos. We’ll try to highlight as many as possible, with a hearty thank you to the folks at Getty Images, who consistently supply the awesomeness for all of us.
↵Who Is “Fake Scoop”?
↵Let’s go to straight to the source.
↵↵Fake Scoop is you’re worst goddamn nightmare. Fake Scoop is Martin, Fake Scoop is Malcolm. Fake Scoop is Kwame Kilpatrick meets Kwame Brown. Fake Scoop is talking in the third person, and he’s smackin’ you in the face with the truth. What did the five fingers say to the face? “Fake Scoop is real.”
↵WHAP!
↵The truth hurts, doesn’t it haters?
↵Simple and plain, I will remain like a cranberry stain. Oh yes. Can’t stop Fake Scoop, can only try to contain his truth. Real. Refreshing like a orange peel. You ready? Uh-uh. No way. You can’t be. Short sentences for emphasis. Knowledge of self. America. Hip. HOP.
↵It’s 2010, y’all. Welcome to the future.
↵↵See that? Fake Scoop is one part gibberish, one part swagger, one hip-hop references, one part truth, and... one more part gibberish. You’ll be seeing more of him on The Ham Sandwich.
↵Will This Site Be Safe For Work?
↵Begrudgingly, yes. This site will be safe for work and confined to the same standards of decorum you’ll find anywhere else on SBNation.com. The stories linked won’t always be safe for work, but that will be noted. If there’s a video that’s borderline, we’ll note that, as well. Basically, you won’t get fired for reading this stuff.
↵When Is It Okay For A Man To Get A Pedicure?
↵Pretty much never, unless you’re filming for a reality show and/or you’re Puff Daddy.
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↵Okay, that’s Diddy’s cue. No more questions, people. Enjoy, bookmark, and check back often.
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