WARNING: this article may be slanted in ways I can’t help, because I am a lifelong Chiefs fan and this is the first game the Chiefs have won since 1933. Anyway, as first passed on by SB Nation Kansas City, here is Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers getting his feelings hurt after a delay-of-game penalty that the insane Arrowhead crowd was partially responsible for.
VIDEO: Philip Rivers Doesn’t Even Want To Play Stupid Football Anyway
And here is Philip Rivers’ diary entry following the game:
Dear Diary,
Tonight I played in Arrowhead Stadium, which should probably be called Stupidhead Idiotadium on account of how everyone there is a jerkwad. I was trying to snap the ball but the crowd was so loud that I couldn’t call the snap count. One of the fans made fun of my name and said I was more like Rivers Cuomo and I kicked the ball but I really wanted to go and kick him in the wiener.
But I didn’t, and I kicked the ball instead. I don’t know why Kansas City fans have to be so loud. All they do all day is stand in the middle of nowhere and eat steak all day like a bunch of idiot 6-year-old babies. When I’m at home I get to go play in the ocean while they’re busy putting up Christmas lights on their skyscrapers downtown in freaking September. They do this so that they can light up all the buildings for Christmas because they all still believe in Santa. I don’t believe in Santa. Antonio says I believe in Santa but I don’t.
After the play Mr. Norv told me I needed to grow up. He isn’t like Mr. Marty. One time Mr. Marty gave me a box of Oreos and on the bus one of the defensive line kids stole them from me and smeared them all over the window and said “look, Philip pooped all over the window.” Mr. Marty went to the back of the bus and told everyone that it wasn’t my poop and that it was impossible to poop on a window anyway. Then he got me another thing of Oreos and told me I was good at quarterback.
I don’t believe in Santa.
From, Philip
Age 29
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