“Children, Clear The Phones.”

1. Mike Francesa is paid a great deal of money to talk about the New York Yankees.

2. The New York Yankees are playing the Detroit Tigers in a pretty important series of games.

And then this happened:

After the jump, Francesa’s hilariously convoluted attempt to dig himself out of that mess ...

First the transcript, in case you just can’t take any more of the real thing ...

I guess that kid who called -- young guy who called -- was talking about the kid who came in the game last night. I thought he was making a joke about Al Burquerque. Get it? But the guy’s name is Alberto Jose Alburquerque ... and I’m not sure, maybe they do call him Al Alburquerque, I don’t even know, I’ve never seen that kid pitch before last night, but that’s who he was alluding to. I didn’t know he was talking about the pitcher last night, I thought he was making a joke. I didn’t realize the kid’s... I thought the guy’s name was Alberto Jose Albuquerque, I didn’t realize his name was Al Al-- they called him Al Alburquerque. If they do. I don’t even know if they do. Because I didn’t, you know, when he was in the game I didn’t pay much attention, to be honest with you. But the kid’s name, Albuquerque, who came up, his last name is Albuquerque, but I didn’t realize they called him Al... burquerque. They do call him Al Alburquerque, which I didn’t even realize. You know. I’ve never seen that kid pitch before last night.

And for the masochists amongst you, here’s the smoking gun:

Francesa’s absolutely right about one thing: the children should definitely clear the phones. And the microphones would be good, also.